of loss and mourning

Well, this morning I said goodbye to a dear old friend.
We met through a mutual friend about 6 years ago. I can't say I was a great friend - ours was an on-gain, off-again relationship. But whenever we parted (and regardless of whose decision it was), there was always the knowledge that we would meet again. After a long parting, we met up again yesterday. Our final hours together were intense and intimate, triumphant and sorrowful. And alas, this morning we parted ways for the last time. We will always have our memories, and I'll be able to easily recall everything, as I have written documentation of every moment of our time together, but it will never be the same again. I am only slightly ashamed to admit that these last two days have been full of tears. There have been the welling eyes, the quiet spill-overs, the disjointed sobs, the quiet happy drops and the wracking, heaving bawling. It's so difficult to fathom the finality of the situation. There will be no more afternoons of peaceful heart-to-hearts, no more adventures, nothing. It's over. Finished. Done.

I will miss you, Harry Potter. I will miss the anticipation of the unknown, the adventures of you and your friends and family. I have enjoyed our journey together and am grateful to David and to Carly for introducing us. You can be assured that I will revisit our time together. Thank you for the joy and the sorrow and the escape (and vocabulary) you have provided to me throughout these past years.
Peace be with you, Harry.






**yes, I am well aware of just how pathetic I am.... but books touch me in ways I can't really explain.

on -mania

I'm a maniac maaay-niac!
My very own copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows arrived in Portland approximately 1 hour and 59 minutes ago. It will be on my doorstep Saturday morning!!!!!!!!

Don't plan on seeing or hearing from me all weekend! Shaun leaves for DC early Saturday, so I've got my date w/Harry all set for the entire weekend.

Eerie!

So I opened my internet browser this morning with the sole intention to get some good quotes for the newsletter at work, and the MSN page had a link to this article and it served its purpose in catching my eye. I clicked to the article, read it, and was flabbergasted! I seriously wondered if perhaps I wrote and submitted the article under a false name! Yeah! Anyhow, here it is:
Skip navigation

By Carrie Friedman
Newsweek
July 23, 2007 issue - I am at a party chatting with a woman I know slightly. As her young son squirms out of her embrace, she slips her hand under my shirt. She's not getting fresh with me. She's touching my tummy with her cold hand and asking me, in a concerned voice, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" I smile, break free from her touch, and head to the food table to fill said empty belly with her brat's birthday cake.

I love children and definitely plan on having them. Maternal instinct is oozing out of my pores: I've infantilized my dogs; I've gotten down on my hands and knees at the park with babies I barely know. My marriage is wonderful and solid, and we are both blessed with good health. I've been a nanny, a teacher, a youth-group leader. I've taken childhood-development courses solely for the purpose of someday raising happy, balanced children. I have always looked forward to becoming a mother.

So why don't I have kids or even the inkling right now? It's because of you. Yes, you: the fanatical mothers of the world. It may seem like ages ago now, but you weren't always like this. You, too, were sneering at the obnoxious parents who brought their infants to fancy, adult, nighttime restaurants or R-rated movies and let them carry on, ruining things for other patrons. You've been terrible advertising for the club that you so desperately need others to join.

If you want me to join your ranks—and you've made it clear with your cold, clammy hands on my stomach that recruiting my uterus is of paramount importance to you—I need to set some ground rules.

First, please stop asking me when I'm going to get pregnant.

For all you know, I cannot have kids. For all I know, I cannot have kids, as I have not yet tried. But imagine how painful this line of interrogation would be if I had submitted to all kinds of procedures, only to come up empty-wombed. It would be emotionally devastating. Yet ever since the day after my wedding two years ago, I have fielded this question from the eye doctor, the dental assistant, my yoga teacher, the bagger at the grocery store. All of them feel entitled to ask. Don't. It's none of your business.

Next, don't completely abandon your own life and passions. You're setting a bad example for aspiring mothers-to-be like me.

I recently expressed my happiness over an achievement I had at work to a mother-friend of mine. She said, dripping with condescension, "Well, you don't know happiness until you've had a baby."

That's very possible, but don't rain on my parade, as I've never said to you, "Remind me, when you went to that expensive college you majored in diaper-rash prevention, right?"

I happen to love my job. It fulfills me in ways no other person—even a child—could. I learned through my own mother's example that the best lesson you can teach your kids is to pursue their passions. It's not selfish to have your own life. In fact, it's selfish not to.

Now let's talk a bit about manners, as in please teach your children some. The world has rules, and kids should learn them. And being well mannered does not infringe on their individuality and freedom.

I crouched to meet the eye line of an acquaintance's 4-year-old to greet her, and in response, she punched me in the face so hard my mouth bled. What was more baffling was the mother's reaction: nothing to the child, but to me she said very sternly: "You really shouldn't talk down to kids."

I also shouldn't be punched in the face by kids whose parents don't know how to set basic boundaries. Experiences like this don't exactly encourage me to hurry up and get pregnant.

Finally, don't make your kid an extension of your own narcissism.

No one could possibly love your kids as much as you do, so stop inflicting them on others. Don't bring your kid to adult parties when you're not sure if it's kid-friendly. If they didn't invite your kid, they don't want your kid there. If you don't want to get a babysitter, stay home.

My husband thinks some people, particularly mothers, behave in these ways because it helps them validate their own choices. But he doesn't truly understand how infuriating it is, and that's because nobody badgers men with questions about procreation.

Becoming a parent was your decision, and I am thrilled for you. All I'm asking is that you let me make that choice in my own time. And keep your hands off my belly.

Weekend Wanderings (and wonderings)

Shaun and I have been doing a lot of house-sitting lately. This is mostly pretty cool. Being the proud person I am, it's a little irksome when people just assume we'll house sit for them (without pay) because it's doing us some big favor by allowing us to live in their bigger, "better" house. But all in all, it's fine, and we have been enjoying ourselves. However, Friday night we both fell into our OWN bed with much rejoicing. Apparently our bed is a lot better than we gave it credit for - after almost three weeks of slumbering in foreign beds, our own was just... just wonderful!
So I took advantage of my free time and slept in Saturday morning while Shaun had to get up and go to work for a few hours. When he got home, he got a call from his good friend David and before long we had all agreed that it was a super day for geo-caching! After a slight mix-up and then lunch at good ol' TB, we headed into the woods and spent a nice day hiking the trails and finding hidden treasure. Our final cache was never found - we found a dead possum, some porn, and a little black vole, but no cache. Hmmm...
Afterwards we treked back up to my work for a quick pit stop before heading over to D & C's house for some yummy BBQ'd burgers and A Night At The Museum. Fun times.
Unfortunately it seems I have time only to blog about my weekend wandering - perhaps later I'll get a chance to blog about my wonderings.
Ciao for now!

It Is Time

Happy Summer Solstice all!

That's all.

No Human Being Is Illegal

That's what the protest signs say. Apparently there was a big bust in Portland and a bus-load of illegals were taken to Tacoma to wait for a decision about deportation .. or something. I don't really know the details, but I know that people are feeling very strongly about this topic. Now, in general I am a pretty compassionate person. I'm appropriately outraged when people are treated unfairly. I oppose slavery and racism and prejudice and all that. But if I decided I wanted to live in, say, Italy and so I flew over there and tried to live and work without the proper documentation, I would fully expect to be unceremoniously booted from the country. Yes, this is America, but dude, if you're not going to get what you need to get to be here legally, you need to get out! I don't see any grey (gray?) area here.
That's all.

I'm a big procrastinator. I'll tell you about that sometime.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it

back it up

So I got on the computer almost an hour ago to try to do some catch-up blogging (as opposed to mustard blogging?) but have been so side-tracked by other blogs, myspace, etc. Sorry. Anyhow, I previously promised some blogging about the following:
geo-caching
scrabble
only children
weekends
bar-be-ques/ cooking
hands and feet
jealousy
bunnies
etc.

Right now I shall attack just a couple of those.

1. geo-caching. On Memorial Day, our cool friends D and C invited us to go geo-caching with them. We had never gone, so we immediately shouted YES YES YES!!! So they came over with their handy dandy GPS and we were off! We found six caches - all VERY close to our house! It was so so so much fun. Afterwards, we all came back to our house and had a quasi-impromptu bbq (we had been planning on having them over the next night, so it wasn't THAT impromptu), and played Nertz and Super Scrabble (which i'm pretty sure Carrie won, as she wins pretty much every game we ever play!)
In conclusion, if you ever wanted to be really nice, you could get us a handheld GPS!!
hmmm I guess I just covered geo-caching, scrabble, and bbqs all in one. cool.

2. weekends. I've found that the END of the weekend sets the mood for my week. Sunday afternoon/evening/night is crucial! If my weekend ends well I go to bed happier, wake up happier, and when I walk into work and the first question invariably is "how was your weekend" I can reply "wonderful" and feel honest about it. And even just thinking about the happy "weekend" puts me in a better mood; thus making Monday more bearable and setting a happy attitude for the rest of the week.

Speaking (typing) of weekends, it's a weekend now. And guess what? Shaun and I are going out to lunch, running some errands on the west side.. then going to the DRIVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right: Shrek the Third and Pirates the Third!
WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO

love thy neighbor?

Yeah, so generally I'm all about that rule. I would love to just get along swimmingly (where did that term come from, anyway?!) with everyone in my neighborhood - I love neighborhoods like that. And generally I've been on pretty good terms with most of my neighbors. What a whopper we got this time, though. Without going into too much detail at the moment (due to time constraits only - not lack of detail, that's for sure), let me just tell you our neighbor is crazy. A lot of things have happened that I may or may not later recount to you via blog post (or in person if you'd like the full effect), but what I'd like to blog about now is what I was driven to do a couple of weeks ago.

After a particularly trying day at work, and and even more trying commute, I arrived home and as quickly as possible dashed from the car to the front door with my head down so as to avoid contact with anyone. I just wanted to get inside, pee, get a book and relax. No sooner had I kicked off my shoes and plopped down on the couch with said book when there is this pounding at the front door. Knowing full well who it was and deciding that I didn't have the capacity to be civil and kind and treat her in a way I would want to be treated, I ignored it. I quietly tiptoed into the bedroom, stretched out on the bed and opened my book again, preppared to emerse myself in the story when the pounding resumed, this time at the back door. Knowing she couldn't pound forever I began reading. Pretty soon the pounding stopped. Phew. But then... it was back. Not at the front door, not at the back door, but at my BEDROOM WINDOW!!!! Now, I was stretched out on my stomach facing away from the window... and I'm pretty sure she was able to see me through the crack in the blinds. Do I care? No. Surely if she sees me laying (lying?) in bed she will cease this overtly rude pounding. Right? WRONG. She moved on to the spare room window, the living room window, the front door and then the back door before finally huffing off. I have never felt so trapped in my own house before! By the time she came to the back door, I thought "ya know, this might be urget, maybe I should go see what she wants" But then she came to the bedroom window and all nice thoughts left.

Turns out Shaun had put some laundry in the dryer that morning and forgot to take them out before he left.

Maybe I was being too harsh?
But pounding on my windows?!?!

How do you deal with particularly difficult "neighbors?"


**every single time I typed the word "neighbor" or "neighborhood" (even those two times!) I put an extra "O" after the "b" (or before the "r"). Won't YOU be my neighboor?

seriously?

okay so it's almost 11:30 in the pm. i haven't been up this late in a loooooong time. especially on a week night. i'm sick. it sucks. generally i don't mind being sick too much.... but i'm just pooped. please forgive the lower case mania. i can't sleep, i can't focus my eyes long enough to read. so i've resorted to listening to the telly. i just saw a circuit city commercial. i've seen this commercial before and.... does anyone else hear the farting noise in the song they play during their commercials? i can't be hallucinating ... can i?

hmmm

eyes are blurring

need sleep

hate snot

throat ripping

oi

Genius

So my co-workers refer to me as "the genius." Well, not all of them - just the office staff. This is kind of my fault. You see, when I'm working on something and figure out something - anything, really... how to get the computer to do something I want, a creative way to fix something I thought was totalled, etc., the words "yesssss!! I'm a genius" often slip out of my mouth. It's my step-dad's fault really, but I guess there could be worse things. Anyhow, any time they need something done or have a task or a question or a problem with something, they call on their resident genius.
I'm here to renounce the title.
You see, yesterday when I got home there was a package in our mailbox. It was our computer charger!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoooooray!
Well.... we plugged it in and then left for Life Group ( a great one, I might add - we talked about something I'll share with you later).... and then we came home and let our poor bunny out (she'd been in her cage since 9am!). Well.... not 15 minutes later we see that she had stealthily managed to completely sever the wall plug in from the charger adapter thingy-ma-jig.
But this morning Shaun did this cool snip clip zip thing and now the previously detatched charger is in tact and our battery is at 100%!
My husband is a genius!

FYI

Sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night to pee, I get this crazy strong urge to floss my teeth.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Also, there is a student in my class whose (is that the right context in which to use that spelling? whose knows?) end-of-the-year/good-bye gift to her teachers is shoes. No joke. Shoes. Rainbow Shoes or Butterfly shoes or Flower shoes. I thought she was joking. Then her mother asked me what size shoe I wore.
Priceless.
I can hardly wait for the end of the year. Only 7 more days!!!

PS our computer charger should be here in the next week or so ... so i'll be back more frequently at that time.

PSS I really really love that blogger automatically saves drafts!

delay...

Sorry for the delay. Unfortunately, I must delay even longer. Dear Beesley chewed (I think the past tense of chew should be chaw) through our computer charger and it finally poopered out. So no more computer until the new charger comes in. I can get a few minutes in here at work, but it is not the right environment for "real" blogging.
So there you have it. When I do get back I'll be blogging about things like:
geo-caching
scrabble
only children
weekends
bar-be-ques/ cooking
hands and feet
jealousy
bunnies
etc.

So you have all the good stuff to look forward to! See you soon!

phew

So the news is out. Remember a few posts ago when I had news and I was trying so so so very hard not to gossip? Well, I am proud to say that the ONLY person who found out from me was my husband (it had less than nothing to do with him or anyone he even knows). I kept it in and now I don't have to keep anything in because the news is out. Phew!

Onto other news: oh yeah, I don't have any new news. I did have a bloggy thought this morning (and yep, that's the technical adjective for something you'd like to blog about). However, my lunch break is only another 7 minutes and I need to go potty and make a phone call. So later on (today, hopefully) I'll hop back on ye ol' internet and get all bloggy on your butt. For now...

You and I? We're done.

(what?!)

and big kudos to whoever recognizes that exchange.

Rachael Freakin' Ray

I got home today and there was a box on the front porch. It was from Everyday w/Rachael Ray. I have never ordered or signed up to get anything from RR aside from a free trial of her mag. or zine. or to us normal people, magazine. Anyhow, there was "free gift" to me from RR ... with a tote bag, OxyClean spray cleaner thingy, free coupons and recipe cards, 20% off an order @ her store, some toasted Wheat Thins, body wash, ...... and a few other things.

awesome.

Babies

Yes, I have babies on the brain. Not that I want one - or any right now, really. But I can no longer ignore the baby crazy. I just counted, and I know at least 22 people who are either prego or have just recently given birth. Wow. Am I just totally missing something here? I am reminded of a telephone conversation I had with my mother my Sophomore year of college. I was so frustrated with the world because my whole group of friends had turned into wedding zombies. I suppose that's not entirely accurate. It wasn't all about weddings at that point... it was all about the significant other. Boyfriends and girlfriends became the primary recipient of all attention. It sucked. I remember relaying this to my mom one particular weekend night when I had been once again ditched in favor of searching for "the one" and was just fed up. I was, of course, expecting some comforting words - perhaps an invitation to drive home and hang out/do something cool that weekend. (looking back, i'm not sure WHY i expected any of that...). Instead I got the "hey, that's life. You're at the age when most people are finding that person, etc. etc. Hey, when I was your age I had a 3 yr old daughter"
Of course all I heard was "what kind of freak isn't out trying to get some on a Friday night." Now, I know that's not what she said - OR what she meant and after I had some time to calm down I was able to realize that it was actually a bit of a blessing, because while everyone else was away I had some great undistracted time to actually get some school work done. And then once I fully resigned to the fact that I was going to be an old spinster (actually, I think i was planning on opening a CoC nunnery at the time), I met Shaun that same year, and... well - here we are.

So here I am four years later and NOW all the people around me are obsessed not with the latest club or attracting the opposite sex, but cribs and baby clothes and finding out the sex of the microscopic parasite that lives within.
Now, I've gotten way past bitter... I'm just baffled. I know I know I will never understand until I have my own. I get that. When you have a life inside of you, growing and forming and completely dependent upon you -it's terrifying and exciting and wonderful, et al. What I don't get is the drive. Perhaps my biological clock runs on solar power or something else that you don't find in Oregon. I see a lot of people who try and try and try (and in some cases succeed, succeed, succeed) to make babies because it makes them feel needed. Or because they like babies. Come on! Really? How screwy of a society can we create?
I am realizing that this blog sounds VERY bitter and angry.... that's not my intent. I'm curious. I love kids as much as the next guy - girl, whatever. I love to feel needed and wanted and all that jazz. But... is it fair to bring a new life into this already-pretty-populated world for my own selfish reasons? What do I have to give to this kid? Am I at a point where I can - and WANT to - do this? Yeah, you can argue that noone is ever ready, but... *sigh* I just don't get it.

You are making your own choices and I am OK with that. You be the best parent you can be. That's all anyone can ever ask. I don't hate parents. I don't hate kids. I suppose my biggest "beef" is this: just because you're a parent doesn't mean you are better than me. Just because I haven't popped out a kid doesn't mean I don't know anything. It doesn't mean we no longer have anything in common.

Don't write me off because you have squirted a little animal out of your body. Please.

Maybe I'll get myself one of these:

It's My Life

No more gossip, right? Why is it that NOW ... today... I learn of some pretty big news that noone knows about ... and I can't tell. Oh, it's big. Not really to anyone but me and about... 8 or 9 other people, but still. harumph!

Side note (though it's really not on the side, is it?): great conversation I had today

small child: I want to be a teacher when i grow up
me: cool! me too! I want to be a teacher when I grow up!
sm: uh! You're alREADy a teacher
me: oh. What can I be when I grow up, then?
sm: uh! JessiCA! You are a grown up already.
me: oh. Well then, what can I do?
sm: you stay here. then you go home.

and there you have it: my life. i stay there. then i go home. and that's all there is to it.
ha

cheerio

what will this be about?

So... I've been meaning to blog about quite a few things lately. The problem is, I've been too lazy to actually type any of them out. So on my way home from work today I starting writing this blog (in my brain)... except I kept going off on all these tangents. So now that I've forced myself to sit down and type, we'll see which story actually comes out.
About a week or so ago something happened. It was not anything big, but it created big waves in myself. Vague enough? Suffice it to say that I starting thinking about some things and resolved to stop thinking and start doing. Now, let me just point out that I am on a journey of sorts. It's a journey to a better me. One thing I realized early on was that I could only focus on one or two things at a time because there are wayyyyyyyy too many things I want to "fix" about myself to try to do it all at once.
So, back to my butterfly effect. I have resolved to really focus on two very important things:

1. Shut my mouth. Now, I will only admit this here, but I tend to be a bit of a gossip. Hear me out. I'm not THAT person, and it has taken me a very long time to realize (and admit) that what I do is actually gossip. I like to talk, and sometimes the content of my conversations is people. Innocent enough, right? Well.... no. End of story. Jesus wouldn't be happy being a part of some of my conversations.

2. Open my eyes. Weird, huh? Partially, this is literal. I need to open my eyes sometimes becuase I'm a total klutz. Maybe if I was looking where I was going.... I digress. My goal is to stop being so critical... to open my eyes to see people the way that Jesus would see them. Not as my annoying neighbor, but as the daughter that is hurting and alone, who desperately needs someone to keep her company and perhaps be the vehicle in which God can reach her.

So those have been my goals. After a wonderful end to the weekend (which, I feel is the most important part of the weekend - I'll expand more on that in another blog), it was Monday morning and I was ready to get back to work and keep working on those (because, as it stands, work is where I need the most improvement in those 2 areas).
The day began wonderfully and continued well - the sun was shinning, the kids were great, we gardened and played and sang and just had a great time. And then it happened. I'm not going to go into detail... but I did feel much discontent towards a particular person. Jesus didn't like how I felt...but, I have to say that it didn't last long! I dealt with it and moved on rather quickly. Yay me! Perhaps there is hope yet.
But then... (yes, there's a "but then") Tuesday morning I got to work and a few of us began simply discussing the previous days events. Aw crap, I'm such a liar. We gossiped about it.
I'm sorry Coworkerwhowillremainnameless.
I'm sorry Jesus.
I'm sorry WonderfulJessicawhoishidingsomewhereinsidemetryingtogetout.
I will do better. I promise.
I will also screw up. Please bear with me.

a glimpse

I just thought I'd stick some pictures up - most are of my dear lovely Beesley bunny. There are two of a little girl... they're my favorite pictures. I wish I could pursue photography.






Eye'm watching ewe!

Day of the Dead

My cousin Derick was buried today. I'm not sure what to do with that. It's not the first time I've buried a family member. My general thought on death is that it is simply a part of life. I understand being sad and missing a loved one, but I am comfortable with death. I have been to 5 funerals in my life, the first one I remember being when I was only 5. I've even spoken at a funeral. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that death is not a foreign or removed concept. I have never been as rocked by a death than I was on Tuesday morning. Late Monday night, Derick Thomas died. While 4-wheeling, his vehicle got stuck and while trying to free it, Derick was crushed. He was 17. In the middle of restoring a 1970 mustang, a month away from graduation and planning to go to culinary school. Not anymore.
It still doesn't seem very real to me. I wasn't too terribly close to him... I just keep remembering him as a small child. Now that small child is dead. werid.
It really is the unexpected deaths that hurt the most.

do i really have to title this?

Alright, so I am, admittedly overanalytical. That is who I am. I over think things ALL the time. I am also paranoid. For a few years now I have been trying out a new tacic - keeping my mouth shut. I find that when I don't share ALL of my thoughts, people like me better. Do with that what you will. Then blogging came along and I indulged. It is the perfect medium through which I can share all my thoughts. But I don't. Why? Well, partially out of laziness and partially because I don't want to be "that" blogger. Every once in a while I will put something out there and it will flop. It doesn't help that I have about 2 inconsistent readers. Maybe if I put some words in here that will lure people into my trap.. Hmmm what's big now?
President Bush?
Brittany Spears?
Sanjaya?
Border Control?
Virginia Tech Massacre?
The Wiggles?
Yoga?
Don't get me wrong, I do have something to say about each of those things... but I have gotten waaaaay off topic. I came here to talk about a trend I have noticed and can't help but wonder the ramifications.
So here it is: People have become incredibly private and very stingy with their company. Time has become a very precious commodity. I know many people who are trying to do right by their families. In order to form strong bonds between their children and themselves they cordon off their evenings and weekends for "family time." And I get it. When thinking about how I would manage my time when I have children, that is in fact one of the things I had thought about - using the evenings and weekends to spend time with each other. However, I can't help but wonder if that practice will prove detrimental to the next generation of society. We have seen a lot of the parents who do everything for their kids and give them whatever they want are rewarded by having full fleged adult children living with them for ever and ever.
My thought is that perhaps spending family time ONLY with family will not provide a model for social interaction. Sure there's school, but it's a whole different situation there. I am a home-body, but we spent a lot of time at other people's houses, and having other people to our house, so I know what to do. I remember learning at an early age what things were not appropriate when we had company or were out at a friend's house.
I have always felt like I had all these great ideas about how my family would be - and I still, do, but the more I really think about the long-term consequences, I have to really give kudos to the old school parents. There are a few things that still make me cringe a little, but I think they know a lot more than I've given them credit for.
Mom, Rick, if you've found your way over here, thanks! I really appreciate my upbringing. you done good.

thus endeth this web log entry

Bunny breakfast, Honey pants and Cake cuts

Nothing too exciting to report - just a few "funny" things that happened today.

This morning I was sitting down to watcch the news and eat my cereal (a scrumptious mix of rice pocket, honey nut toasted o's, fresh banana and strawberries) when out of her crazy morning zooming comes Beesley Bunny - all two pounds of fluff and frenzy. She hops right up and.... directly INTO my bowl. Milk, generic cereal and fresh fruit commensed flying across my lap, the chair, the floor - and out of this mess emerges a milk-soaked bunny, happy as can be. As angry as I wanted to be, the sight of her, sopping wet, but oh so pleased as she ferociously began cleaning herself was just too cute.

Then today at school I picked out a couple of books to read to the kids when we had our gathering, and then set them on a table while I greeted the children. I then proceeded to put one book on my lap as I read the other. Well, apparently SOMEONE didn't clean the table after having their tea, leaving globs of honey all over the table, which then got on the book and subsequently on my pants. Ew. Sticky pants all. day. long.

The other day Shaun and I splurged (doesn't that sound like such a naughty word?) on some fresh strawberries (who can pass up $3 for 2 cartons?) and angel food cake. As I tried to open the blasted plastic container the cake came in, I gave myself a nasy plastic-slice ... right across my index finger and it stings worse than any paper cut I've ever had!

comercials are weird

The Days Fly By

I can hardly believe it's been two weeks since I've blogged! And I thought I was doing so well at keeping up with this thing.
Oh well...
It's currently Sunday morning; there's freshly ground coffee brewing in the pot, a cute bunny zooming around my feet and a funny and wonderful husband by my side. What more could I possibly ask for? As much as I love going to church, it's just one of those days where I can sit here and feel God in my life....ahhh! (satisfied sigh, not a frustrated growl)

Last week was spring break; I only had to work a few hours in the morning all week, which was nice, since my sister-in-law was in town. She stayed with us for the week, which was different - not in a bad way at all... it's just that I'm not used to sharing all of everything, including my alone time, with anyone else. I never thought that being an only child affected (effected?) me much, or that I had (m)any only-child tendencies, but I'm finding more and more things about myself that probably stem from that experience. hmmm

I know there are a while bunch of things going on, but I'm going ot go soak up the lovin' here at home before we have to leave.

oh - go see Blades of Glory! It's pretty much mind-bottling!

Drugs = Funny

Funny man, Mitch Hedberg. Mostly due to the drugs, I'm sure - the same drugs that led to his early death. I don't condone drugs, but I sure do love the stupid humor that results.
For better or worse, here he is (well, sort of):

Potty Mouth

So I've been meaning to blog about this for a while... I recently (actually it's been a while, now) read somewhere - though I can't for the life of me remember where - that the majority of people in the US are scrunchers. That is, when preparing to wipe urine and/or fecal matter from their hoo-has and bum-bums they take a length of TP and scrunch it up into a ball. Now, can that really be true? Don't get me wrong, I've never been one to underestimate the stupidity of people, but come on?! It's not rocket science. Scrunched up toilet paper is directly correlated with feces-covered fingers. All those holes and such... Personally, I'm a folder. It's just superior for my anterior.

Anyhow... since we're on the subject, I've been slightly obsessed with poop lately. Mostly because my sweet bunny is afflicted with intestinal issues that require close attention to her stool (not to mention the incredible amount of it she creates!). That is to say, I have become somewhat of a fecal analyst. I should have business cards made. But I digress. In my endless google quest for information and insight into my new aquired pet's droppings, I came across this website: www.poopreport.com. Priceless.

I feel as though I've left something out.... Oh well.
Enjoy my "happy blog"

Addendum

Lovely word, by the way.

And, I'm in love with Naked Juice.

No end in sight

So, I have come to realize that I tend to blog only when I'm about to explode and have no other outlet for my anger/frustration/fillintheblank. I apologize to you, my million (or two) readers. Please understand that my disposition is not one of the Eyore ilk. I will do better. I will blog happy things. But not today - at least not right now.

I am at work. I want to die. I am not sure I will be able to make it through the day. (How's that for I-statements?) My only consolation is that somehow I survived the morning. I don't know how. I almost lost it. Part of it has to do with events that actually happened this morning, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am stressed. Plain and simple. I have been getting ill more often, I've had migrains (migrane?), I am not sleeping, I'm irritable... and I can't seem to do anything about it. I can't remember when it's been so invasive before. I've been stressed. But it's never been so overwhelming. Happy thoughts and hot baths and lots and lots of prayer are not easing my urges to squeeze the life out of something. Anything, really. My only respite from the stresses is Beesley the Bunny. And even then, I look at her and remember that there is some nasty parasite inside her body.
Anyhow, my biggest "beef" now is work. I am supposedly half way through my day, but honestly, there seems to be no end in sight.

Listen to me - I sound so pathetic. I suppose I am. Oh well. I am okay with that.
I just have one question:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

With that I will sign off. Happier thoughts to come later.

A Case of The Mondays....

It's Monday. Again. Not that Mondays are inherently bad. They're actually quite nice, usually - with the exception of having to get up early after a couple of days of sleeping in. This Monday, however, started even earlier than usual.
There was, of course, the fact that Daylight Savings began yesterday, thus robbing me of one entire hour of my life. But I was even doing okay with that. What I wasn't okay with was being awake at 1:32am! I tossed and turned and finally realized what was happening. I made it to the bathroom just in time. After about an hour, I realized Shaun was moving around an aweful lot... turns out neither of us had been sleeping for a while. So we did everything we could to try and get some sleep, but we were both so uncomfortable and irritable and just not happy to be awake! I waited until 6am when I knew my boss would be getting up to call and let her know I wouldn't be making it into work. Promptly after that call I fell asleep and was able to get four full hours of complete unconsciousness. Bliss!!! Shaun had the day off, as well, so we kinda bummed around for a bit before hitting the housework.
You see, we have a problem. We both hate to clean. However, we realize that things need to be done, so we begrudgingly clean... but on top of our hatred of the dreaded housework, we both work and by the time we get home are thoroughly pooped. We have just enough energy to play with our bunny and then zone out in the living room - either with the paper, a book, or the tv (more often than not, lately, it's been the tv - it takes less energy). I just thank dear Lord Jesus we don't have children!
Anyhow, while folding laundry, we popped in a movie (The Librarian? It's horrible - don't even think about it. We may have ended up watching about 25minutes of it, total). A few minutes later I got a call from the vet.

Now, last week, being the responsible pet owners we are, we took our recently aquired baby bunny to a rabbit-savvy vet to make sure everything was ok (and, being the overconcerned hypochondriac I am, I was convinced she had about a dozen different diseases). Except for Dr. W savagely mouth-raping dear Beesley (yes, i realize that it was perfectly normal - and necessary, but it just looked so painful), everything went fine. He kept some of her poo to do a fecal analysis in order to double check that everything was working properly on the inside. He was impressed at how much we already knew despite this being our first bunny and said that we were doing a great job with her. The fact that she made it this long alive (she was taken away from her mother WAAY too early) was impressive, and she would be just fine.
So we've been slowly giving her a little more freedom and just really enjoying her bunny antics.

Back to today and the phone call. The vet had called to tell us that the fecal analysis had come back and that Beesley has coccidia - a parasite in her intestines (I actually knew what this was, as it was one of the things I had been convinced she had when we first got her). So we had to go get some medication, and she actually takes it quite well. The thing that really sucked is that we had JUST cleaned out her cage on Saturday, but because of the whole parasite thing had to dump all the new bedding and food and water that we had just given her. humph
Lucky, it doesn't seem to be too bad, as she is showing virtually no symptoms, and should be completely gone by the end of her 10 day medication.
And, with the extra day have been able to get a little more of the housework done. Yay us!

I suppose that's a pretty complete update on what's going on here.
Oh, wait... not quite.

My Father.
January-ish 2005 (Not sure, exactly when this happened): Girlfriend moves in (the 1st one i've ever liked!)
Christmas 2005: Proposes to girlfriend
Summer-ish 2006: Moves into new house in new town with fiance
Christmas 2006: Hasn't spoken to said fiancee since Thanksgiving
February-ish 2007: I receive email from Dad's fiance saying they have finally set a date!! 7-7-07 Destination wedding somewhere warm and lovely (prob. Carribean) so prepare for wonderful vay-cay!
Early March 2007: Another email from fiance saying that my father has called off the wedding.

Seriously?!?!?!?!

Okay, now that's all.

Dear Church,

Please do not label me. Do not put me into one of your "categories" in order to "properly" minister to me. Yes, I am a Young Adult - I am just 2 years out of college and am still figuring out this whole adult thing. Yes, I am a Young Married. It's been just over a year and a half and again, I am still figuring out this whole wife thing. Yes, I am a woman. I DO have a vagina and wacked out emotions and I cry for no reason and I like feeling loved and I'm still sorting out the stupid hormonal thing. Yes, I am a "mature christian." I chose to follow Christ nearly 14 years ago... and I am still figuring this whole devoted life thing out. Yes, I am a teacher... I spend many days, evenings, and even weekends trying my darnest to be a good example and to learn from those little ones who have so many things to teach ME. And I'm still figuring that out. Yes, I am a 20 something. I still enjoy doing goofy weird, juvenile things. Yes, I am an old lady. I love Jeopardy and crossword puzzles and crocheting and Sudoku. Yes, I am a pet-owner. I have a precious bunny and she depends on me, and I love her with all my hear, yet I'm still tyring to figure her out. I am child-less. My life is not consumed by diapers and bottles and play-dates.
I am all of those things, and more. Yet, those things do not define me - or the person I strive to be. How can I learn to be a good mother, if for those who have been successful in that area? How can I become a better wife if I don't have the example and advice of a veteran married couple? How can I grow at all, when this box you've put me in is so small?
Please, take a note from Jesus's life, his ministry - meet me where I am, all of you - and let God speak to me through YOU.... through your life and trials and victories, your eyes and your heart, even if - ESPECIALLY if - you're not in the same place in your life as I am in mine. I need that from you. Christ set up this amazing way for FAMILIES of believers to be that support to each other. I need your support, not your label. I am trying to do that for you, as well. Please let me.
Thank You

The New Kid

I passed a billboard today and it kind of forcecd me to really think about where I am in my spiritual life. I had gotten to a point where I was really comfortable with my relationship with God and my attitude of service. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't perfect, and know that there were quite a few things that I needed to work on, but I was really growing and acknowledging my shortcomings and really ... i don't know. My point is that I'm not really there anymore. I was forced to be uprooted from a church family that, while dysfunctional (what family isn't?), I was finally feeling involved and accepted and all that. So I found a family with which I really seemed to fit, theoretically. But it's been pretty close to a year, and I don't feel any closer to anyone there than I did my first Sunday. Granted, I have missed quite a few weeks, especially lately. Most of my absenses have been completely legit - I've been sick a lot, as has Shaun, and we have been doing a lot more traveling... but there are times when I've just "accidentally" slept in, decided there wasn't much reason for me to be there... and other excuses that I used to think were such lame excuses! Shaun and I would spend that time studying on our own - and do well, but I still lack true fellowship and the ability to learn from others. I had just forgotten how difficult it is to be the new kid. Especially in such a tight knit group of people. Not that it is in any way anyone's fault but my own... I just feel so awkward. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone else knows what to do and where to go and what happened in X's family and just what to say to Y... small talk is even different among people who know eath other well. There's not that awkward grasping for some common ground.
I just need help. Prayers and thoughts and good wishes.
Would you do that for me?
Thanks (or Thanks anyway if you decide not to)

Coffee, Tea & Vanity

So the wonderful little chillins at work have discovered tea and coffee making. This means that every morning when class starts I have a 4 or 5 year old asking, neigh begging me, if they could make me tea or coffee (even fresh-squeezed orange juice sometimes). It's been nice - they even grind their own coffee beans and then use a french press so it's nice and fresh coffee! They serve it to me on the "tea table" in a CUTE little Starbucks tea cup and saucer with a small tray of cream and sugar. And for some reason, one of the things that HAS to be on the tray is a little hand mirror. I'm not sure what that has to do with having tea or coffee, but every time they set the table, that little mirror is there. Hmmm... do they know something I don't?

Sittin on the Dock of The Bay...

Sittin on the Dock of the Bay...
Okay, so I'm not really sittin on the dock of the bay, but I AM wasting time:
(and yes, Tab I kept some of your answers.... they fit)

The Strange Questions Survey

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work:
not direct tongue-on-cd action, but... well, sorta

What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you've dated:
Offially dated? about a year and a half

Ever been in a car wreck?:
yep

Were you popular in high school?
nah...

Are looks important?:
this question isn't very complete... I feel that the looks I give (and get from others) are important in how we communicate... and the look of my produce is also very important to me...

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??:
10 years... 1997... since Jr.High? Sure, a few.

Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?:
depends on the person and his/her situation

"You and ME baby aint nothin but mammals, so lets do it it like they doit on the discovery channel"
ah, memories!

Have you ever made a mistake?
moi?

Are you a good tipper?:
i try. i think it's important.

What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
mmm maybe 15 bucks

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher:
yeah, unfortunately

Have you ever peed in public?:
in a bathroom...

Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
probably not... or at least not for a long long long time.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?:
ooh, good question - probably a weird mixture of my favorite foods - watermelon, okra, pickles, oranges...

Beatles or Stones?:
beatles.

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:
i can't even bring myself to be that mean. i mean, i my head i can think of some people, but then when it comes down to it, i think it would be devastating for their friends and family, so . . . no one.

Beer, wine or hard liquor?:
mojito!!!

Do you walk around the house naked?:
come on now... do you really want to know that information? Because I'm not sure I want you to

If you were an animal what would you be?:
Sea Otter?

Hair color you like on someone you're dating?:
dark

Would you rather be blind or deaf?
well, i'm already awfully klutzy, so blindness may just be the death of me. On the other hand, there are so many things I love hearing. How about I'll not choose, and then deal with whatever comes my way when it comes.

Do you have any special talents?:
i think i can cook okay?

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:
usually look through the mail really quick before dashing to the bathroom

Do you like horror or comedy?:
yes, although i've been a little less keen on the horror and loving the comedy.

Are you missing anyone?:
yes! Carly and Nicole and Amanda and.... my family

If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
john cusak or zach braff or frank sinatra or benny goodman

What did you dream last night?:
I don't remember all of it, but i was bar hopping with a bunch of girl friends and my grandpa met us at a bar and then went home with like, 3 20-something girls. it was weird

What is your favorite sport to watch?:
football

Are you named after anyone?:
i don't think so

Non alcoholic drink?:
OJ

Have you ever been in love?:
have been and am

Do you sing in the shower?:
when am i not singing? (don't confuse this with an ability to sing well)

Have you ever been arrested?:
nope

Would you ever get plastic surgery?:
nah.

Have you ever caught a fish?:
YES! i LOVE fishing!

Off-The-Wall Questions:

Family member you most resemble?
my mommy

Do you own your own Bible?
yes

Do you wear deodorant?
when i remember to put it on.

Do you clean up nice?
not really. what you see is what you get

Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
my father-in-law's couch

What are you listening to right now?
my husband telling me about all the stupid people at work

Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
I think i've been able to contain most of the fires i started

Ever run out of gas on the road?
nope

What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn?
mow the lawn

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
some They Might Be Giants

Last time you swam in a pool?
ummm... probably the honeymoon

Have you ever been in a school play?
yep. The Secret Garden

How many kids do you want?
good question.

i don't know. maybe 2?

Type of music you dislike most?
not much...maybe some of that hard rap/nasty pop

Do you have cable?
no.

Ever prank call anybody?
yeah! i used to do it ALL the time

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
yeah, if i had the money

Do you have a garden?
well, we just moved so I haven't established anything here yet... but i'm totally stoked for springtime since we have a lot more yard!

Bath or Shower?
shower to clean, bath to relax

Best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Winter's Passing

Best pizza topping?
pep, olive and shroom

Popcorn or Peanuts?
kettle corn

Orange Juice or apple juice?
orange.

Chocolate Bar?
anything dark dark dark (pref. 65 - 75% cocao

When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
last summer @ work

Ever order anything from an infomercial?
I LOVE infomercials

Sprite or 7-Up?
Sprite. or ginger ale

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
no way

Ever thrown up in public?
not unless you count the church bathroom

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
finding true love with a millionaire would be nice

Believe in love at first sight?
nope

Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
ummm... I don't remember - either Grandpa Charlie or Grandma Grace

What do you think about most?
myself probably

Favorite form of travel?
any kind of travel as long as it gets me somewhere and i have fun doing it!

If you could have one magical power what would it be?
to move things with my mind. then my house would always be clean just by me thinking about it

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:

Something purple within 5 feet of you:
candle

The sexiest item of clothing you own:
uh - no thanks

Is your hair long enough to chew on:
yep

Least favorite color?
pink

Ever have Dippin' Dots?
yeah, weird

Ever play an instrument?
b flat and bass clarinet

Ever been to a palm reader?
no . . . but it would be interesting

Did you have a good weekend?
yes :)

How is today going for you?
better now that work is over

Any plans for tonight?
yeah, it's tv night - the office, scrubs and grey's anatomy

Ever photograph something that was dead?
dead rat. freshman o.

Are you ready for the holiday season?
if you mean the next holiday (valentine's day) . . . not really.

Ever given someone a full-body oil massage?
yes.

I'm back

Alright, so here I am! I'm all hooked up to the internet, sittin in our not-so-fancy but oh-so-comfy new chair... yes, life is good here.
Okay, so my last update post was in August, so here's a recap of the past few months.

September: I officially began my new position at work and I officially hated my job.

October: Well, honestly, I have a sneaking suspicion that most of October didn't actually happen. One day it was October 5th, and then it was Halloween.... weird.

November: We were REALLY busy at work - the kids were preparing for their Thanksgiving Feast (they cooked/prepared the entire meal - it was pretty awesome). For Thanksgiving we (Shaun and I) were invited to spend the weekend with some in-laws. About a week before we were to leave we found out that our Thanksgiving dinner would be eaten at Sizzler. Yes, Sizzler.
So... we head out Thursday morning so we can make sure to be at said in-laws house by the prearranged meeting time of 12:00 noon. We arrived in town at about 11:30am. Shaun was delivering some wood and had planned to meet his customer at a Safeway parking lot at 11:45. Since we were early, we stopped at in-law's house to say hi and all that..... except noone was home. So we went and sold the wood and then went back to in-law's house at 12:00. Still, noone home. And noone was answering their cell phones.... A little worried, and a little put off, we went to another in-law's house and kinda crashed their Thanksgiving... they were more than generous, even though we ended up not eating until 7pm. We finally got ahold of the people with whom we were supposed to have met at noon, and they told us that they had wanted to "beat the rush" and so went out without us.
hmmm

December: What a fantastic month this is! Fun work Christmas parties, deliciously cool weather, making homemade hot chocolate mix, making decorations for our christmas tree, and getting ALL of our christmas shopping done in one afternoon! In the interest of keeping this post not super long, I'll tell you about christmas later. It was great

And now here we are in January. I went back to work (which I discovered I no longer hate...I'm not sure when that happened, though) on Jan 2nd... then had Jan 8 off for my birthday... then it snowed that week! It was so beautiful and wonderful. Then it went away.... and then it snowed again!!!!!! and a LOT! Because Monday was MLKJ day, we ended up having Mon, Tue, Wed & Half of Thursday off, which was fantastic. Except when I got to work on Thursday.
I walked into our classroom and felt that something was different, but dismissed it as just not having been there for almost a week.
Well... I wasn't the only one who hadn't been there for that long - the lead teacher had forgotten all about the class birds. That's right - 2 dead birdies.
The kids were great... they buried the birdies and had a nice little funeral.

Well, now that I have internet at home I should be updating this more often so I'm just going to leave off here.
I hope that everyone has had a wonderful year thus far and I'll be seein' ya!

mindless babble

Yep, I'm still alive! It's snowing and beautiful in Portland... and I'm at work. We're on the Portland Public schedule for closures, PPS closed for the day, and we are open - make sense of that! Sheesh

So there was a little guy (about 4 yrs old) getting lined up to go outside. He then asked one of the (male) teachers, "don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"
So funny and so incredibly sad all at the same time, though that's a rant for a blog that I actually have time for.

quick vent

It's been too long. Plenty has happened in the last month and a half, but I don't really have time for all that. Or the energy. I am SO frustrated with work right now... it's been one of those days and I want to jump out the window. Unfortunately, our center is halfway below ground - so there goes that idea. Please pray for me. I am feeling very smug because of something bad that just happened, and that's never good.
oy vey
help

Jessica's July

Hi there. I have been pretty busy lately, and have had some neat experiences that could be used as blog fodder, but have not had the time to sit and write anything. I can hardly believe it’s nearing the end of July already. I’m now sitting in my little apartment with my husband, father in law, 15-year-old sister in law, and 7-year-old half brother in law… and we are all melting. It’s 10:16pm and the thermometer’s needle is still hovering around 91 degrees. Our only hope at any relief is a small fan that is only pushing around the dense, moist heat and a large bucket that we have filled with cold water and some ice bricks. We have been taking turns sticking our feet in the bucket at last ditch efforts to keep our bodies from melting into large puddles of human ooze and irreplaceably damaging the couch/chairs/carpet… thus assuring that we would never get our deposit money back. How sad.
Anyhow, other than the triple digit heat that has been steadily attempting genocide of our country, I’ve had quite a few noteworthy experiences.

At the beginning of the month, my dear friend Nicole graced us with her presence for a whole week!!! It was SO much fun! We wandered downtown and hit all the “typical” landmarks … we even witnessed some quite INdiscrete sexual action behind the waterfall at Keller fountain, of which there is still debate over the genders of the participants (the consensus is female – for both parties). The best part of that particular experience was the FOUR other couples who excitedly walked towards Keller Fountain with the express intent of getting it on behind that waterfall… and their quick turnarounds and disappointed faces when they found “the spot” occupied. Who knew this was Portland Metro Make out Pointe? Not me, that’s for sure. There was one guy who seemed to know said spot well. He came to the fountain and found a good vantage point from which he could see the action behind the wall… and he just stood there and watched with such intent and pleasure… I honestly have no words for what was going on that evening. Later on, though, we walked down by the waterfront and got to hear some pretty awesome music coming from the Blues Festival… and then we got a nice lightning show! We finally started making our way home, stopping at Tonali’s Doughnut Shop. While Nicole was here we also went to OMSI and Bullwinkle’s, and Powells … overall, it was a fun week.

Last weekend was an exciting weekend, too… it was Shaun’s and my anniversary. We had originally planned on going to Seattle Friday night – Sunday night, but I ended up working until 6:00 that evening and we didn’t want to drive up so late. So instead we met up with some friends and had yummy Thai food for dinner and then went and saw the neat sand sculptures downtown. Afterwards we went to a late showing of Pirates of the Carribbean II. It was a good movie, but it didn’t start until after my normal bedtime, and it had been a CRAZY day already, so there are a few parts that I missed due to my eyelids’ lack of willpower.
Then Saturday morning we got up early and headed up to Seattle… hung out at the Pike Place Market for a bit, wandered through a few parks and then headed to the grocery store before heading back to the hotel to relax in a nice air-conditioned room.
Sunday we checked out of the hotel and then went over to Lake Union where we got to see some neat boats and stuff… then we took a free sail boat ride around the lake – it was SO much fun! We even got to see the houseboat made famous by Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle. Pretty cool! Our plan was to then go have lunch at one of our favorite little restaurants, but sadly it was gone! So we settled for Red Robin, which was still pretty neat – we have a little bit of history there (I’ll explain the great Iced Tea adventure some other time).
All in all it was an amazing weekend!
And now my sister in law is here for the week… so I’m looking forward to another week full of adventure and resourcefulness as we try to keep cool in this horrid heat.

There you go – the month of July thus far.

Ciao!

a trip back in time

So this is a blog that I actually wrote almost a month ago. For kicks, pretend it's May 27th (it's a drizzle-y Saturday).

What a day today has been! I was up twice in the “wee” hours of the morning due to the enormous amount of liquids I have been consuming in preparation of a speedy blood donation that was scheduled for early this afternoon. Finally around 7am I got out of bed and found my husband on the porch cutting wood. And no, that’s no euphemism for anything – he was in the process of building something – a shelf, I think. Anyhow, as he sawed, I moved on toward the kitchen for some more water and then started making peach pancakes to go with the yummy butter pecan syrup I purchased on a whim (and against my better judgement) yesterday. Then Shaun headed off to his job maintaining an apartment complex, and I picked up my crocheting (I’m working on a baby blanket for my friend’s sister and I’m so excited – it’s only the second project I’ve ever undertaken). During this time I grabbed my phone to put next to me so I could keep an eye on the time. The problem was that I couldn’t see the time because there was a big message that said I had a voice mail. It was some of my friends that wanted to hang out – COOL! I love hanging out with them. So I called them back and got no answer – so I left a message and went back to my blanket. A bit later I checked the time again and again – I couldn’t do it, because of a voice mail. It was them again. So I called and got the answering machine. So I left a message and again went back to the blanket. This continued for the remainder of the morning… then I realized I had my phone on silent, which is why it didn’t ring while sitting next to me as I was crocheting. Finally we managed to get ahold of each other and got together around 5:00 – yes, that is how long it took for us to get together! Then we spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what to do. We finally decided on a movie at The Kennedy School (V for Vendetta – which is SO fun to say!). So we dropped Shaun off at home so he could finish building that shelf. Then after standing in line for what seemed like EVER we settled down into a cozy couch with popcorn, milk duds and a pint of brewsky… all of which were consumed rather quickly. As the movie progressed, my eye lids became much heavier and more difficult to keep open. Finally about ¾ of the way through the movie, I was wondering why I was SO very tired. I began going over the events of the day when I realized that I had donated blood just a few hours ago… and then, somewhere over my right shoulder a little bubble appeared with the nurse’s head in it, going over the post-donation instructions – no heavy lifting, good meals, lots of liquids, no alcohol….. that was it! I just downed a pint of Ruby. So then as this is going through my mind, I’m getting more and more comfortable on the couch… sorta melting into it, when it hit me –

I donated one pint of blood.

I just drank one pint of beer.

Hey – I’m 1/8 beer!

This was very funny.
So I made it the 8 blocks to my house so that my dear sober husband could drive my friend home.




The next day
Although everything is fine and there really were no repercussions from my little episode, I would NOT recommend replace a pint of your blood with beer. Ha ha ha!

Yay for good things!

Hey! So I just found out about this place called GoodSearch.com. It's like Google, except every time you search for something, they will donate some moo-lah ($$$) to your chosen charity or school. It's prety neat! It's not a HUGE amount - something like a penny per search, but if we can get a lot of people to use this, then it can potentially add up to a lot of money for some really good causes! So check it out - www.goodsearch.com

luv ya

So this is going to be out of order - I blogged a bit this weekend from my house, where I don't have internet, so it's still in Word... I'll get it to you later, but I just have to ask... is there REALLY a difference between love and luv? Seriously! It's pretty ridiculous, and I hate these kinds of abbreviations (how I feel about text and instant messaging deserves its very own blog)..... but I know that I wouldn't take an "i luv u" as seriously as an "I love you." Then add in "ya" - how serious is a relationship when the most you say to each other us 'luv ya." Not that saying "luv ya" is such a bad thing.... I'm sure I use that when I talk to my husband on the phone, or as I'm leaving sometimes (especially if someone else is around - but again, my PDA issues are for another blog)... but... I don't know. I guess this blog really isn't going anywhere. Luv ya.... I love you. I think both are over(and inappropriately)-used, but which would YOU like to hear? And is there really a difference? I don't know. Do you?

observate these boogers, DINKS!

Kids are funny. I love them. I have chosen to make them the center of my career. Or rather, God has directed me there (I have not been happy doing anything else).
However, I am still WAY too selfish to have my own. I like my time at home. I like spending the evenings with my husband, a good book, some nice music perhaps... maybe playing games with friends. I do not want the responsibility that is kids. And I enjoy that my family is what my dear friend Shauna calls a DINK (double income no kids). But i think technically we're TINKS since I have two jobs. And kids would seriously cramp THAT style.
But they sure are funny! I have two funny examples....
#1. Child is 8 years old and crazy curious. She loves science, which is totally rad. So she's been doing these little experiments and she was just telling me all about the "monocules" that caused the oil to separate... then she said she wanted to put salt in the mixture and "observate it".
#2. Child is 3 years old. I'm trying to get her to go to sleep (it's nap time). Instead of sleeping, she's picking her nose. Then she goes for the mouth. I catch her hand and ask her to use a tissue. She the proceeds to say: "they're my boogers in my nose and my germs. i has to put dem in my mouse (mouth) so noone else can get them! My mom and dad told me not to share my germs with anyone!!! so i has to eat dem!"
How do you argue with that?!

Tuesdays

I've decided that Tuesdays have really gotten the shaft. Sundays are "holy," Mondays are... well, Mondays. By Wednesday we've made it to the "hump" and Thursday is SO close to Friday. Friday is a day full of looking forward to the end and Saturday is fun day. Tuesdays suck. I mean, that's not totally true - Tuesdays have American Idol and House. But as far as the "attitude" of Tuesdays... there really is none. Perhaps I'll invent a Tuesday mood. What do you think?

Alright... I'm back! Sort of

Hi there. It's been quite a while since I have had the time to sit down and blog. During my sabatical I have thought of many clever blogs. However, I have that disease where I can only remember/think of something at the precise moments that I don't need them. So now that I have a few minutes I am at a loss.

Have you ever been so flabbergasted at a good deed done FOR you that you were afraid to even utter it to anyone else in fear of it all being a dream? Or a mistake? Maybe both?
Well last week the church gave Shaun a check... they said that there had been some money put in the collection plate on Sunday that had his name on it. When he told me this, I was so happy for him... he has been working so hard with the teens (he's doing an internship here for a class at school) and not only is not getting paid, but doesn't get a lot of help, and it's a little frustrating sometimes. So I was happy for him, and what it meant for him to know that his efforts were appreciated. Then he showed me the check... five. hundred. dollars! I couldn't believe it! What a blessing! We even splurged and he got himself a ps2 off of ebay. hee hee.
AND then Shaun got a call from his best friend, who works at a wood place. He has been talking to his boss about Shaun, I guess and arranged for the two of them to meet and for Shaun to pick up an application, as they will be needing someone in about a month... and Shaun will be finished with school in ..A MONTH!!! So Shaun met the guy, said he was really nice. He got an application and took it back this morning, so we'll see...

As far as my working situation... I am working at a Montessori school in the mornings which I thought would be great. But I'm just a slave there.. I greet parents in the morning and spend the rest of the day doing office/teacher grunt work and doing potty patrole. It's not a bad job, but it really reminds me that I want to teach - and that I'm not particularly fond of the pre-school age. Luckily, my contract is up in June. I think I am going to start looking at Summer Camp programs with Elementary ages, and then get into a real teaching position for the fall.
I also teach after school art classes and have gone from teaching two classes to teaching FOUR!! And since that is a job that I DO really enjoy, that makes me happy.

I'm sorry I'm not a better blogger.
Hey - I want to read a book. A really good book. Any suggestions?

mindless babble

Well, I don't have a whole bunch of time. I am working lots now... and working on getting used to the idea of our church being gone. Pretty much that means lots of discussions on what we really want and need and have to offer. Also, as my dear hubby is the youth intern right now, we have been spending a lot of time with the kids. It's been hard, but I have enjoyed spending time with them.
Spring is here. Wonderful. That is a half sarcastic wonderful. I am one of those with horrid allergies, so spring means sneezing, itching, sore nose, scratchy throat, and since I'm one of those weirdos who also has allergy-related asthma, lots of problems breathing. Joy and Bliss in my world.
Well, time's up.
Ciao!

quick update

Hello to the person who accidentally wandered over here. It's currently about two or three in the AM. I can't sleep. My eyes are not working too well. Please forgive misspellings and weird ramblings. This will probably be more stream-of consiosness. I'm hanging out at the gracious Wagner's house this evening. My husband is off at the coast, freezing at a youth rally. I am pretty excited to be out of the house. I have been sick this last week and haven't really left the house much. Shaun's been great. I got a box of gifts every day for three days leading up to that crazy February day that people get all crazy about. It was so great - organizers for the bathroom, a brita pitcher, plants/flower/bulbs, pots, etc. Oh, and a Sudoku book! It was so great. And now that I read that, I realize that I am such an old lady. HA! Oh well.
What else? OH - my car pooped out the other day. I am not sure what's wrong with it, but I'm B.R.O.K.E!!! So I've been supressing the stress, only barely, though. I have worked SO hard not to worry about money and things and stuff. So everytime I started to think about it I would pray that something would come up. Sometimes I was able to move on to something else and not worry, but other times I would just kind of repeat the same little prayer over and over and over and over and over...
This evening I was talking to Troy and Shauna and Troy was like "hey, i think we can get you a car for free" HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said it's probably not good for a real long time, but it will be GREAT until I'm working more and Shaun is able to graduate and get work! WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise Jehovah! It's been such a wonderful lesson for me, as I'm a worry-wart.
It's been deliciously cold outside lately! I love it!
I guess i should try to sleep.
G'night!

employment

I've got a job!!!!!!!! I interviewed yesterday afternoon and got a call this morning - I'm IN!!!!!! I just need to go actually fill out an application and get scheduled for orientations and training and such. WAHOOO!!!!

that's all.
bye

NAKED and SNOGGING

Okay, so what is with parents not being aware of what their children are posting on the internet? Is it really appropriate for a 12 yr old to post photos of her in sexual positions wearing a bikini? (is it appropriate for ANYONE, really?) How is it that a parent says they "cannot" control that?!?!?!

I'm sorry - well, I guess I'm really not, but anyway- I do NOT enjoy looking at photos of scantily clad people........ I do NOT enjoy photos of people kissing..... It just isn't cool. If you want to kiss someone, that's fine. If you want to take a photo of you two snogging, that's even okay. But is that what you want to post on the internet to represent yourself? Eww.

Hm. Maybe I'm just too old fashioned.

hi

Post answer in a comment (fill out whatever you want to):
1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my blog regularlyl?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?:
10. Favourite place to spend time:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your blog if you want to . . . i know it's like an email forward so you don't have to, but if you want, it could be fun . . .

questions questions questions

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You
1. eyes
2. stomachs
3. dimples

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. cooking
2. taking photos (even though i'm really no good at it)
3. reading

Three Places You Want to go
1. Civitanova del Sanio, Italy
2. Gold Coast Australia
3. New York

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. TRAVEL!!
2. run a bed and breakfast
3. grow my own food

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl
1. i cry for no reason
2. i enjoy it when my nails are nice and strong and long
3. i over analyze everything

Three people that are your friends and why
1. Shaun - my dearest, closest friend who loves me even though he really knows me
2. Brian J. - been friends for a long time. He is probably the first person who really got the full brunt of my horrible jr. high years and ... has just been through a lot of my crap. Yet we're still friends.
3. Richard - my step dad who is pretty much the greatest EVER. Even though he thinks I'm an idiot, he's good at letting that go and loving me anyway. He has done so much for me and I pretty much owe him everything

Okay now I'm done

Photos

Here are some of the photos taken over break.

who's afraid of the big bad blog?

Alright, so we made it home! FINALLY! Again, our flight was delayed. In Denver, this time. Something about mechanical problems. What really sucked was that Shaun was sick, and for the 24 or so hours before the we left was unable to keep any food down. So we didn't even try to eat the morning of our flight (who wants to actually have to use the airline barf bags? eww). However, by the time we got to Denver we were both starving. Then the plane is delayed. So we're sitting there quietly as our stomachs very UNquietly gnaw away at our spines. Finally we can't stand it anymore and begin scanning the airport for food. What does Shaun decide to eat? Dominoes Pizza. Oh boy. Actually, the pizza was delicious and surprisingly not so greasy. So finally we get on the plane and I am SO nervous he'll have to use the barf bag... Especially since we're sitting in the middle and window seat, making it not so easy for him to just up and run to the washroom.
But he made it all the way through the flight! And it was SO VERY good to be home.
Our visit was nice, but it was long and we missed our home.

There hasn't been much to blog of since we've been back. I had a birthday, which just made me feel old. I planted my Chia Herb Garden!!! And it's beginning to sprout! YUM!

Oh, and before we left Colorado, Shaun's boots were exchanged straight across for brand new ones and I got a brand new, cool phone - FREE!!!
But I miss the puppies!

And this was on Tab's blog and I thought it was pretty cool.

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. Italian
2. Irish
3. Czechoslovakian

Three Things That Scare You
1. grates/holes in the ground
2. clowns
3. open windows when it's dark outside and light inside

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. toilet paper (i'm w/ya there, Tabs)
2. something to read
3. cooking (I love it love it love it)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. One of Shaun's wedding bands (mine is on its way to Shane Co to get cleaned)
2. One red sock
3. One white sock with red and blue argyle

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. respect
2. accountability
3. humor

Hey I'll finish this later. (promise!)

OH and I want to see Hoodwinked!

Technology....

Well, at around 1:30 or 2am on the first day of our calendar year I sat in bed and blogged. I blogged my little heart out. I blogged of the three days of Christmas that I briefly mentioned, I blogged of our adventures in Colorado, of the crazy funk the New Year seemed to bring... I blogged funny anicdotes (sp?) and some serious ponderings. And it's gone. All gone. Wiped out. How? I have no clue.
But it is no more and I must not dwell on the past. cursed technology.

Sort of off topic, I have gone to see a few movies during my stay here. I have seen The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Memoirs of a Geisha.
How do you feel about reading books v. watching movies? Let me rephrase: do you read the book first or watch the movie first?
I LOVE to read. I have always held firm to the idea that I need to read the book before I see the movie. And I have, for the most part, done so. Yet as I was sitting in the theater watching dear Harry and his pals with my husband (who has only seen the movies) I realized that he could pick up the book and be completely enthralled with a seemingly new story. Now, the movie was actually pretty good. But there is SO much more in the book - too much, in fact, to put it all in the movie. So I began to really think about how I do things... would it, in fact, be more enjoyable to see the movie, get the basic plot line, and then read the book and devour all the sub plots and depth of characters that a good book has to offer? Or would knowing the end of the story completely ruin it?
Also, there is the imagination. I LOVE reading a book and creating it all in my mind. Watching the movie first would eliminate my ability to do that....

I am still pretty far from making up my mind.
What do you think?

Reflections

Well, tis the season the reflect and resolve. 2005 has been a pretty big year. The year began while I was asleep. Here in CO there isn't much to do on New Years so I just went to bed early. A few days later I flew back to my best friends house in So Cal and then we loaded up her car and began the drive back up to Cascade. It was a BLAST!!! Rockin out to some wicked cool music, throwing army guys attached to string out the window, and chaining up her little Golf over the pass. As soon as we got back to town I was able to celebrate Christmas/New Years/my birthday with my wonderful fiance in the snow atop Rocky Butte.
Just a few days after that I began my Student Teaching experience. It started out a little awkwardly and got progressively worse. I was finally removed from THAT school and had a week to recouperate. Then I started Student teaching with the greatest teacher I have ever met. Great teacher, great class - it was WONDERFUL, albeit VERY VERY busy. During that time I was writing my work sample (again, as I had already done one for my first school), trying to keep up with my roommates, plan a wedding, and stay sane. Well, I managed most of that list just fine. ha ha ha.
Anyway, at the end of April I walked with the rest of the graduating class of 2005 and entertained a whole bunch of family, even though it would be another three weeks before I finished student teaching. Then everyone went back home and I was left in my dorm all alone. I finally finished student teaching, officially graduated, moved into a new apartment and began to finally focus on the wedding.
A couple of months later, my best friend came back from Brazil to help plan the wedding, it happened, everyone left (including us) and life was grand. My new husband and I came back to Portland and began setting up house before he began his last year at Cascade.
We jumped feet-first into a new church, and have just been enjoying life, as busy as it may be.
For the first time ever, Shaun and I were able to spend Christmas together and it was spectacular.

In the last year, friendships have been strengthened and those same ones lost, others have been formed, and some are just beginning to grow.
God has worked miracles in my life and I am excited to see what he has in store for me in 2006.

Ciao!

Mele Keliki Maka, Part III

Oy. It was an okay day. Some funny things happened... but this is another thing I'll have to postpone due to time limitations.
We came home tonight and those two really cute lovely puppies that I want to take home with me had gotten ahold of my purse. Goodbye handmade ornament Grandpa gave me. Goodbye yummy lip stuff. Goodbye almost-brand-new phone. (They literally ATE the antenna). Sheesh.
But guess what? I still want to take them home. They have this power over me. It's scary!

Well, Goodnight and I'll do some more re-capping later.

I CAN'T forget this story: Sugar Daddy! (I need to put it in this post so I don't forget to tell you later)

G'night

Feliz Navidad, Part II

Welcome back! Christmas #2 was not as bad as anticipated! Not that I thought it would be horrid... my mom was just much less stressed than usual. Of course it took a little bit of self control on my part to stay merry. But I did it. And I'm glad. We made lots of fish! The feast of the seven fishes, to be exact. I need to go now, so I'll explain more about that later.
Well... I think I'll have to finish all of this later. I'm sleepy!
Good night and God Bless!

Merry Christmas, Part I

Hello dear friends. This is the first installment of a three part blog. As most of you who read this probably know, I'm in Colorado for the holidays. This happens to be the one little town where all of my mom's, dad's AND step-dad's family lives. So there are a LOT of people to see. Fortunately each "side" of the family has chosen a different night to celebrate Christmas. My dad's tonight (the 23rd), Mom's tomorrow, and step-dad's on Sunday. So I will try to recap each day's experience here on this glorious blog. That said, here goes:

This morning I got up and began helping my mom get the house ready for tomorrow's feast. Then we started working on the food. I also made some yummy mac and cheese caserolle to take (along with the zillions of cookies I made last night) to Dad's tonight. Shaun went with my step dad to run various errands and I spend the day mostly in the kitchen. Around 3:45 I realized that I should probably shower and get ready to be at Dad's by 5:00. So I'm in the shower by about 10 after 4...and Shaun's still not back! Noone is answering their cell phones, so I'm a little nervous. He finally showed up at 4:50. So we were a little late getting to my dad's but it was OK. We get there and it's Dad, Lisa (his live-in girlfriend), her brother and his wife and two kids, Lisa's son Ryan, my grandpa (dad's dad) and Shaun and me. So we eat and it's pretty yummy and we chat and had a pretty great time together. Then the kids begin clammoring for the bundles under the tree. so we all gather in the living room and begin opening gifts. My dad and Lisa gave us a digital camera and printer!!! SO cool!

Anyway, after Shaun and I opened ours, it was Lisa's turn and she get a whole bunch of stuff... then my dad gave her a little box that he had been hiding. My initial thought was: It's a RING!!!! then... I considered the source - Lisa has been hinting about this for a LONG time and my dad is just turd enough to get her a stupid gift and present it to her all dramatic like in a little ring box. So I waited ... and it WAS an engagement ring!! They were standing at a weird angle, but I managed to get one kind of cool picture of him putting the ring on her finger.
So that pretty much took the cake! I'm excited... she is MUCH cooler than my last step-mom. And I'll have a step-brother, too! It's so crazy. Five months ago I was very sibling-less. Now I have a sister in law, a brother in law, and soon to be step sister in law and a soon to be step-brother!

Let's see... oh, we also got a ceramic bowl my grandpa made and filled with those little gold coin chocolates and 10 silver coins. My grandma got us a Christmas tree ornament that has "our first Christmas 2005" and Lisa got us some yummy smelling candles and candle holder and some lotion and chocolate candies.

Overall it was a VERY enjoyable evening and I am really glad that Shaun and I were able to be a part of it all... the christmas, the family, the festivities, and the ENGAGEMENT!!! My dad's getting married!!!!!

Well, Merry Christmas eve eve to everyone and I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how Christmas part II goes!

Love ya!

Jess

we made it!

My goodness! So we finally made it out of Portland around noon yesterday. Our connecting flight was scheduled to depart San Francisco at 12:45, but we were assured that all outbound flights were delayed as well, so we weren't too worried.
So we make it to SFO and get off the plane and immediately head for those little computer screens that hold all the information that any passenger could possibly want to know (well, not REALLY, but you know what I mean, right?). We finally locate our flight destination, #, and scheduled time, and then next to that were the big red letters: CANCE. Now what could that mean? I know it just COULDN'T mean what I thought it meant. I wouldn't believe it. So I called the United system and it was confirmed... our flight was cancelled. Now usually when you fly, there is a small group of people that are heading in the same direction you are. You know what I'm talking about - the loud family, the weird guy and the lady who asks like she's too good to talk to anyone - they get off the plane only to follow you to the connecting flight plane... or the baggage claim. Anyway, there were no other people looking lost - trying to make their way to Colorado Springs. So we search the airport for SOMEONE who can help us.
FINALLY we find the RIGHT line and spend 45 minutes waiting to talk to this really weird little guy. He tells us we can fly standby to Denver and then Springs. So I ask "what if we don't make it on those flights?" and he assures me we'll get on. Then, after consulting with his "sweet" (coworker who is obviously disgusted with his antics), he continues to punch buttons and then tells us we can confirm tickets for just $35 a person. This I do NOT want to do. I already PAID for tickets. So I weighed my options - what if we don't get on Standby? "you're SOL" he tells us. "but you can confirm tickets if you pay"
"Why would we have to pay for that when we've already paid for tickets to get us from Pdx to Colorado Springs?" I calmly ask.
"because you missed your flight"
WHAT?! where have you BEEN, little man? is one of many things going through my mind.
But I was kind. "Sir, our flight was cancelled - this is NOT our fault"
To which he went "oh - one moment I'll book you on the next flight"

So we got to fly in a Boeing 777 in the Economy Plus seating... with the little video screen in the chair in front of you... nice big cushy chairs. ahhhh... it was pretty great.
Of course we were pretty late getting to our destination. But we're here and so far - we're still alive.

Oh! And my parents adopted two little dogs that had been stranded from Hurricane Katrina and they are ADORABLE!!! I'm not a fan of little dogs, but these guys... they're Italian Greyhound and Terrier mix... and so sweet, too!!! Hang on, I'll see if I can get a pic off the net. They look like a cross between these two dogs:


Now that I look at them... they look more like the second dog... they're great.
I want a dog.
oh well.

Merry Christmas everyone!

airport musings

La la la la la ti da. Here I am. Sitting at pdx. waiting. waiting. waiting. It's almost 10:30. our flight was supposed to leave about 30 minutes ago. It will probably be another hour or two. Then who knows how long after we get to San Fransisco we'll have to wait to get to Colorado. Maybe we'll get stuck in San Fran for a bit. That would be fun.
I really don't have TOO much to blog about. I'm just sleepy. It's interesting to watch people here, though. That's what I love about the Portland airport.
Okay I'm done now, I guess.

Anyone have a funny story to tell me? I like stories!

Cheesy TV sparks new movement!

How's that for a cheesy headline? Ha! Anyway, the other night I am a little ashamed to admit that my perpetual channel surfing came to rest on the show "7th Heaven." It was a Christmas episode (GASP!).... and I watched it (shame). However, I even became a little emotional as every member of the Camden family spend Christmas day not with each other, but helping out at various charities, hospitals, etc. This was in leiu (sp) of gifts. Instead of spending money to buy each other presents that weren't necessary, they donated their money and their time to help people that weren't as fortunate on Christmas day. They passed out gifts at childrens' hospitals, among other things. Their church had even been setting aside money after collections and fundraisers in order to be able to financially assist one family for the ENTIRE upcoming year. So there were a lot of corny scenes in the course of the hour long episode, but it made me really think. I have been pretty upset this season because I am NOT in any place, financially, to be giving gifts. I have been really trying to come up with some meaningful gifts, but everything I want to get costs money. But what I DO have is time.. and especiallly on Christmas, when everyone takes time off ... there is a real need for people to help. So this christmas I am going to do what I can on Christmas to help someone else. And then try to follow that up by giving more of my time for the rest of the year... and the following year...
so... here's to using what we've got! (CHEERS!)

Ciao

God Bless us, every one!!

Okay, so after a rocky beginning of the season, CHRISTMAS is finally in my heart! To stay, even! See, 'round about October I was SO ready for Christmas... singing the songs, dreaming of decorating and cooking and baking... cold days and warm cider and cocoa. Then something happened. I am not sure what it was, but suddenly I just wasn't feeling it anymore. It's been creeping up lately, but this afternoon my lovely husband and I hopped on the MAX and headed downtown (making the necessary stop @ Borders' Seattle Best Cafe for some YUMMY carmel apple cider) to Pioneer Square to listen to 200+ TUBAS!!! It was SO amazing! It took quite a while to find a place to stand, even, it was so crowded. But we finally found a nice place and listened to the 88 year old conducter tell his funny stories and some tuba history between lovely Christmas caroles. It was nice, but it (the Christmas spirit, if you will) didn't really hit me until we were singing Hark! The Harold Angels Sing.
There we were: thousands of complete strangers from all walks of life singing "God and sinner reconciled... Christ is born in Bethlehem..." And it wasn't a big deal. Now, I know that a lot of those people really couldn't care less about the "religious" aspect of Christmas, but it was just SO encouraging to see so many different people smiling and singing and... I don't know. It just touched my heart.
I am not sure too many people read this - or even know I'm here, but in case you ARE reading and if you DO care, I'll be flying to CO soon and might not be on here for a while. So I pray that YOU will enjoy the magic of this season and not get caught up in the "stuff."
Merry Christmas!!!
And, in the timeless words of the profound little cripple: God bless us, every one!!