Funny man, Mitch Hedberg. Mostly due to the drugs, I'm sure - the same drugs that led to his early death. I don't condone drugs, but I sure do love the stupid humor that results.
For better or worse, here he is (well, sort of):
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Potty Mouth
So I've been meaning to blog about this for a while... I recently (actually it's been a while, now) read somewhere - though I can't for the life of me remember where - that the majority of people in the US are scrunchers. That is, when preparing to wipe urine and/or fecal matter from their hoo-has and bum-bums they take a length of TP and scrunch it up into a ball. Now, can that really be true? Don't get me wrong, I've never been one to underestimate the stupidity of people, but come on?! It's not rocket science. Scrunched up toilet paper is directly correlated with feces-covered fingers. All those holes and such... Personally, I'm a folder. It's just superior for my anterior.
Anyhow... since we're on the subject, I've been slightly obsessed with poop lately. Mostly because my sweet bunny is afflicted with intestinal issues that require close attention to her stool (not to mention the incredible amount of it she creates!). That is to say, I have become somewhat of a fecal analyst. I should have business cards made. But I digress. In my endless google quest for information and insight into my new aquired pet's droppings, I came across this website: www.poopreport.com. Priceless.
I feel as though I've left something out.... Oh well.
Enjoy my "happy blog"
Anyhow... since we're on the subject, I've been slightly obsessed with poop lately. Mostly because my sweet bunny is afflicted with intestinal issues that require close attention to her stool (not to mention the incredible amount of it she creates!). That is to say, I have become somewhat of a fecal analyst. I should have business cards made. But I digress. In my endless google quest for information and insight into my new aquired pet's droppings, I came across this website: www.poopreport.com. Priceless.
I feel as though I've left something out.... Oh well.
Enjoy my "happy blog"
Friday, March 16, 2007
No end in sight
So, I have come to realize that I tend to blog only when I'm about to explode and have no other outlet for my anger/frustration/fillintheblank. I apologize to you, my million (or two) readers. Please understand that my disposition is not one of the Eyore ilk. I will do better. I will blog happy things. But not today - at least not right now.
I am at work. I want to die. I am not sure I will be able to make it through the day. (How's that for I-statements?) My only consolation is that somehow I survived the morning. I don't know how. I almost lost it. Part of it has to do with events that actually happened this morning, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am stressed. Plain and simple. I have been getting ill more often, I've had migrains (migrane?), I am not sleeping, I'm irritable... and I can't seem to do anything about it. I can't remember when it's been so invasive before. I've been stressed. But it's never been so overwhelming. Happy thoughts and hot baths and lots and lots of prayer are not easing my urges to squeeze the life out of something. Anything, really. My only respite from the stresses is Beesley the Bunny. And even then, I look at her and remember that there is some nasty parasite inside her body.
Anyhow, my biggest "beef" now is work. I am supposedly half way through my day, but honestly, there seems to be no end in sight.
Listen to me - I sound so pathetic. I suppose I am. Oh well. I am okay with that.
I just have one question:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
With that I will sign off. Happier thoughts to come later.
I am at work. I want to die. I am not sure I will be able to make it through the day. (How's that for I-statements?) My only consolation is that somehow I survived the morning. I don't know how. I almost lost it. Part of it has to do with events that actually happened this morning, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am stressed. Plain and simple. I have been getting ill more often, I've had migrains (migrane?), I am not sleeping, I'm irritable... and I can't seem to do anything about it. I can't remember when it's been so invasive before. I've been stressed. But it's never been so overwhelming. Happy thoughts and hot baths and lots and lots of prayer are not easing my urges to squeeze the life out of something. Anything, really. My only respite from the stresses is Beesley the Bunny. And even then, I look at her and remember that there is some nasty parasite inside her body.
Anyhow, my biggest "beef" now is work. I am supposedly half way through my day, but honestly, there seems to be no end in sight.
Listen to me - I sound so pathetic. I suppose I am. Oh well. I am okay with that.
I just have one question:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
With that I will sign off. Happier thoughts to come later.
Monday, March 12, 2007
A Case of The Mondays....
It's Monday. Again. Not that Mondays are inherently bad. They're actually quite nice, usually - with the exception of having to get up early after a couple of days of sleeping in. This Monday, however, started even earlier than usual.
There was, of course, the fact that Daylight Savings began yesterday, thus robbing me of one entire hour of my life. But I was even doing okay with that. What I wasn't okay with was being awake at 1:32am! I tossed and turned and finally realized what was happening. I made it to the bathroom just in time. After about an hour, I realized Shaun was moving around an aweful lot... turns out neither of us had been sleeping for a while. So we did everything we could to try and get some sleep, but we were both so uncomfortable and irritable and just not happy to be awake! I waited until 6am when I knew my boss would be getting up to call and let her know I wouldn't be making it into work. Promptly after that call I fell asleep and was able to get four full hours of complete unconsciousness. Bliss!!! Shaun had the day off, as well, so we kinda bummed around for a bit before hitting the housework.
You see, we have a problem. We both hate to clean. However, we realize that things need to be done, so we begrudgingly clean... but on top of our hatred of the dreaded housework, we both work and by the time we get home are thoroughly pooped. We have just enough energy to play with our bunny and then zone out in the living room - either with the paper, a book, or the tv (more often than not, lately, it's been the tv - it takes less energy). I just thank dear Lord Jesus we don't have children!
Anyhow, while folding laundry, we popped in a movie (The Librarian? It's horrible - don't even think about it. We may have ended up watching about 25minutes of it, total). A few minutes later I got a call from the vet.
Now, last week, being the responsible pet owners we are, we took our recently aquired baby bunny to a rabbit-savvy vet to make sure everything was ok (and, being the overconcerned hypochondriac I am, I was convinced she had about a dozen different diseases). Except for Dr. W savagely mouth-raping dear Beesley (yes, i realize that it was perfectly normal - and necessary, but it just looked so painful), everything went fine. He kept some of her poo to do a fecal analysis in order to double check that everything was working properly on the inside. He was impressed at how much we already knew despite this being our first bunny and said that we were doing a great job with her. The fact that she made it this long alive (she was taken away from her mother WAAY too early) was impressive, and she would be just fine.
So we've been slowly giving her a little more freedom and just really enjoying her bunny antics.
Back to today and the phone call. The vet had called to tell us that the fecal analysis had come back and that Beesley has coccidia - a parasite in her intestines (I actually knew what this was, as it was one of the things I had been convinced she had when we first got her). So we had to go get some medication, and she actually takes it quite well. The thing that really sucked is that we had JUST cleaned out her cage on Saturday, but because of the whole parasite thing had to dump all the new bedding and food and water that we had just given her. humph
Lucky, it doesn't seem to be too bad, as she is showing virtually no symptoms, and should be completely gone by the end of her 10 day medication.
And, with the extra day have been able to get a little more of the housework done. Yay us!
I suppose that's a pretty complete update on what's going on here.
Oh, wait... not quite.
My Father.
January-ish 2005 (Not sure, exactly when this happened): Girlfriend moves in (the 1st one i've ever liked!)
Christmas 2005: Proposes to girlfriend
Summer-ish 2006: Moves into new house in new town with fiance
Christmas 2006: Hasn't spoken to said fiancee since Thanksgiving
February-ish 2007: I receive email from Dad's fiance saying they have finally set a date!! 7-7-07 Destination wedding somewhere warm and lovely (prob. Carribean) so prepare for wonderful vay-cay!
Early March 2007: Another email from fiance saying that my father has called off the wedding.
Seriously?!?!?!?!
Okay, now that's all.
There was, of course, the fact that Daylight Savings began yesterday, thus robbing me of one entire hour of my life. But I was even doing okay with that. What I wasn't okay with was being awake at 1:32am! I tossed and turned and finally realized what was happening. I made it to the bathroom just in time. After about an hour, I realized Shaun was moving around an aweful lot... turns out neither of us had been sleeping for a while. So we did everything we could to try and get some sleep, but we were both so uncomfortable and irritable and just not happy to be awake! I waited until 6am when I knew my boss would be getting up to call and let her know I wouldn't be making it into work. Promptly after that call I fell asleep and was able to get four full hours of complete unconsciousness. Bliss!!! Shaun had the day off, as well, so we kinda bummed around for a bit before hitting the housework.
You see, we have a problem. We both hate to clean. However, we realize that things need to be done, so we begrudgingly clean... but on top of our hatred of the dreaded housework, we both work and by the time we get home are thoroughly pooped. We have just enough energy to play with our bunny and then zone out in the living room - either with the paper, a book, or the tv (more often than not, lately, it's been the tv - it takes less energy). I just thank dear Lord Jesus we don't have children!
Anyhow, while folding laundry, we popped in a movie (The Librarian? It's horrible - don't even think about it. We may have ended up watching about 25minutes of it, total). A few minutes later I got a call from the vet.
Now, last week, being the responsible pet owners we are, we took our recently aquired baby bunny to a rabbit-savvy vet to make sure everything was ok (and, being the overconcerned hypochondriac I am, I was convinced she had about a dozen different diseases). Except for Dr. W savagely mouth-raping dear Beesley (yes, i realize that it was perfectly normal - and necessary, but it just looked so painful), everything went fine. He kept some of her poo to do a fecal analysis in order to double check that everything was working properly on the inside. He was impressed at how much we already knew despite this being our first bunny and said that we were doing a great job with her. The fact that she made it this long alive (she was taken away from her mother WAAY too early) was impressive, and she would be just fine.
So we've been slowly giving her a little more freedom and just really enjoying her bunny antics.
Back to today and the phone call. The vet had called to tell us that the fecal analysis had come back and that Beesley has coccidia - a parasite in her intestines (I actually knew what this was, as it was one of the things I had been convinced she had when we first got her). So we had to go get some medication, and she actually takes it quite well. The thing that really sucked is that we had JUST cleaned out her cage on Saturday, but because of the whole parasite thing had to dump all the new bedding and food and water that we had just given her. humph
Lucky, it doesn't seem to be too bad, as she is showing virtually no symptoms, and should be completely gone by the end of her 10 day medication.
And, with the extra day have been able to get a little more of the housework done. Yay us!
I suppose that's a pretty complete update on what's going on here.
Oh, wait... not quite.
My Father.
January-ish 2005 (Not sure, exactly when this happened): Girlfriend moves in (the 1st one i've ever liked!)
Christmas 2005: Proposes to girlfriend
Summer-ish 2006: Moves into new house in new town with fiance
Christmas 2006: Hasn't spoken to said fiancee since Thanksgiving
February-ish 2007: I receive email from Dad's fiance saying they have finally set a date!! 7-7-07 Destination wedding somewhere warm and lovely (prob. Carribean) so prepare for wonderful vay-cay!
Early March 2007: Another email from fiance saying that my father has called off the wedding.
Seriously?!?!?!?!
Okay, now that's all.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Dear Church,
Please do not label me. Do not put me into one of your "categories" in order to "properly" minister to me. Yes, I am a Young Adult - I am just 2 years out of college and am still figuring out this whole adult thing. Yes, I am a Young Married. It's been just over a year and a half and again, I am still figuring out this whole wife thing. Yes, I am a woman. I DO have a vagina and wacked out emotions and I cry for no reason and I like feeling loved and I'm still sorting out the stupid hormonal thing. Yes, I am a "mature christian." I chose to follow Christ nearly 14 years ago... and I am still figuring this whole devoted life thing out. Yes, I am a teacher... I spend many days, evenings, and even weekends trying my darnest to be a good example and to learn from those little ones who have so many things to teach ME. And I'm still figuring that out. Yes, I am a 20 something. I still enjoy doing goofy weird, juvenile things. Yes, I am an old lady. I love Jeopardy and crossword puzzles and crocheting and Sudoku. Yes, I am a pet-owner. I have a precious bunny and she depends on me, and I love her with all my hear, yet I'm still tyring to figure her out. I am child-less. My life is not consumed by diapers and bottles and play-dates.
I am all of those things, and more. Yet, those things do not define me - or the person I strive to be. How can I learn to be a good mother, if for those who have been successful in that area? How can I become a better wife if I don't have the example and advice of a veteran married couple? How can I grow at all, when this box you've put me in is so small?
Please, take a note from Jesus's life, his ministry - meet me where I am, all of you - and let God speak to me through YOU.... through your life and trials and victories, your eyes and your heart, even if - ESPECIALLY if - you're not in the same place in your life as I am in mine. I need that from you. Christ set up this amazing way for FAMILIES of believers to be that support to each other. I need your support, not your label. I am trying to do that for you, as well. Please let me.
Thank You
I am all of those things, and more. Yet, those things do not define me - or the person I strive to be. How can I learn to be a good mother, if for those who have been successful in that area? How can I become a better wife if I don't have the example and advice of a veteran married couple? How can I grow at all, when this box you've put me in is so small?
Please, take a note from Jesus's life, his ministry - meet me where I am, all of you - and let God speak to me through YOU.... through your life and trials and victories, your eyes and your heart, even if - ESPECIALLY if - you're not in the same place in your life as I am in mine. I need that from you. Christ set up this amazing way for FAMILIES of believers to be that support to each other. I need your support, not your label. I am trying to do that for you, as well. Please let me.
Thank You
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