Reflections

Well, tis the season the reflect and resolve. 2005 has been a pretty big year. The year began while I was asleep. Here in CO there isn't much to do on New Years so I just went to bed early. A few days later I flew back to my best friends house in So Cal and then we loaded up her car and began the drive back up to Cascade. It was a BLAST!!! Rockin out to some wicked cool music, throwing army guys attached to string out the window, and chaining up her little Golf over the pass. As soon as we got back to town I was able to celebrate Christmas/New Years/my birthday with my wonderful fiance in the snow atop Rocky Butte.
Just a few days after that I began my Student Teaching experience. It started out a little awkwardly and got progressively worse. I was finally removed from THAT school and had a week to recouperate. Then I started Student teaching with the greatest teacher I have ever met. Great teacher, great class - it was WONDERFUL, albeit VERY VERY busy. During that time I was writing my work sample (again, as I had already done one for my first school), trying to keep up with my roommates, plan a wedding, and stay sane. Well, I managed most of that list just fine. ha ha ha.
Anyway, at the end of April I walked with the rest of the graduating class of 2005 and entertained a whole bunch of family, even though it would be another three weeks before I finished student teaching. Then everyone went back home and I was left in my dorm all alone. I finally finished student teaching, officially graduated, moved into a new apartment and began to finally focus on the wedding.
A couple of months later, my best friend came back from Brazil to help plan the wedding, it happened, everyone left (including us) and life was grand. My new husband and I came back to Portland and began setting up house before he began his last year at Cascade.
We jumped feet-first into a new church, and have just been enjoying life, as busy as it may be.
For the first time ever, Shaun and I were able to spend Christmas together and it was spectacular.

In the last year, friendships have been strengthened and those same ones lost, others have been formed, and some are just beginning to grow.
God has worked miracles in my life and I am excited to see what he has in store for me in 2006.

Ciao!

Mele Keliki Maka, Part III

Oy. It was an okay day. Some funny things happened... but this is another thing I'll have to postpone due to time limitations.
We came home tonight and those two really cute lovely puppies that I want to take home with me had gotten ahold of my purse. Goodbye handmade ornament Grandpa gave me. Goodbye yummy lip stuff. Goodbye almost-brand-new phone. (They literally ATE the antenna). Sheesh.
But guess what? I still want to take them home. They have this power over me. It's scary!

Well, Goodnight and I'll do some more re-capping later.

I CAN'T forget this story: Sugar Daddy! (I need to put it in this post so I don't forget to tell you later)

G'night

Feliz Navidad, Part II

Welcome back! Christmas #2 was not as bad as anticipated! Not that I thought it would be horrid... my mom was just much less stressed than usual. Of course it took a little bit of self control on my part to stay merry. But I did it. And I'm glad. We made lots of fish! The feast of the seven fishes, to be exact. I need to go now, so I'll explain more about that later.
Well... I think I'll have to finish all of this later. I'm sleepy!
Good night and God Bless!

Merry Christmas, Part I

Hello dear friends. This is the first installment of a three part blog. As most of you who read this probably know, I'm in Colorado for the holidays. This happens to be the one little town where all of my mom's, dad's AND step-dad's family lives. So there are a LOT of people to see. Fortunately each "side" of the family has chosen a different night to celebrate Christmas. My dad's tonight (the 23rd), Mom's tomorrow, and step-dad's on Sunday. So I will try to recap each day's experience here on this glorious blog. That said, here goes:

This morning I got up and began helping my mom get the house ready for tomorrow's feast. Then we started working on the food. I also made some yummy mac and cheese caserolle to take (along with the zillions of cookies I made last night) to Dad's tonight. Shaun went with my step dad to run various errands and I spend the day mostly in the kitchen. Around 3:45 I realized that I should probably shower and get ready to be at Dad's by 5:00. So I'm in the shower by about 10 after 4...and Shaun's still not back! Noone is answering their cell phones, so I'm a little nervous. He finally showed up at 4:50. So we were a little late getting to my dad's but it was OK. We get there and it's Dad, Lisa (his live-in girlfriend), her brother and his wife and two kids, Lisa's son Ryan, my grandpa (dad's dad) and Shaun and me. So we eat and it's pretty yummy and we chat and had a pretty great time together. Then the kids begin clammoring for the bundles under the tree. so we all gather in the living room and begin opening gifts. My dad and Lisa gave us a digital camera and printer!!! SO cool!

Anyway, after Shaun and I opened ours, it was Lisa's turn and she get a whole bunch of stuff... then my dad gave her a little box that he had been hiding. My initial thought was: It's a RING!!!! then... I considered the source - Lisa has been hinting about this for a LONG time and my dad is just turd enough to get her a stupid gift and present it to her all dramatic like in a little ring box. So I waited ... and it WAS an engagement ring!! They were standing at a weird angle, but I managed to get one kind of cool picture of him putting the ring on her finger.
So that pretty much took the cake! I'm excited... she is MUCH cooler than my last step-mom. And I'll have a step-brother, too! It's so crazy. Five months ago I was very sibling-less. Now I have a sister in law, a brother in law, and soon to be step sister in law and a soon to be step-brother!

Let's see... oh, we also got a ceramic bowl my grandpa made and filled with those little gold coin chocolates and 10 silver coins. My grandma got us a Christmas tree ornament that has "our first Christmas 2005" and Lisa got us some yummy smelling candles and candle holder and some lotion and chocolate candies.

Overall it was a VERY enjoyable evening and I am really glad that Shaun and I were able to be a part of it all... the christmas, the family, the festivities, and the ENGAGEMENT!!! My dad's getting married!!!!!

Well, Merry Christmas eve eve to everyone and I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how Christmas part II goes!

Love ya!

Jess

we made it!

My goodness! So we finally made it out of Portland around noon yesterday. Our connecting flight was scheduled to depart San Francisco at 12:45, but we were assured that all outbound flights were delayed as well, so we weren't too worried.
So we make it to SFO and get off the plane and immediately head for those little computer screens that hold all the information that any passenger could possibly want to know (well, not REALLY, but you know what I mean, right?). We finally locate our flight destination, #, and scheduled time, and then next to that were the big red letters: CANCE. Now what could that mean? I know it just COULDN'T mean what I thought it meant. I wouldn't believe it. So I called the United system and it was confirmed... our flight was cancelled. Now usually when you fly, there is a small group of people that are heading in the same direction you are. You know what I'm talking about - the loud family, the weird guy and the lady who asks like she's too good to talk to anyone - they get off the plane only to follow you to the connecting flight plane... or the baggage claim. Anyway, there were no other people looking lost - trying to make their way to Colorado Springs. So we search the airport for SOMEONE who can help us.
FINALLY we find the RIGHT line and spend 45 minutes waiting to talk to this really weird little guy. He tells us we can fly standby to Denver and then Springs. So I ask "what if we don't make it on those flights?" and he assures me we'll get on. Then, after consulting with his "sweet" (coworker who is obviously disgusted with his antics), he continues to punch buttons and then tells us we can confirm tickets for just $35 a person. This I do NOT want to do. I already PAID for tickets. So I weighed my options - what if we don't get on Standby? "you're SOL" he tells us. "but you can confirm tickets if you pay"
"Why would we have to pay for that when we've already paid for tickets to get us from Pdx to Colorado Springs?" I calmly ask.
"because you missed your flight"
WHAT?! where have you BEEN, little man? is one of many things going through my mind.
But I was kind. "Sir, our flight was cancelled - this is NOT our fault"
To which he went "oh - one moment I'll book you on the next flight"

So we got to fly in a Boeing 777 in the Economy Plus seating... with the little video screen in the chair in front of you... nice big cushy chairs. ahhhh... it was pretty great.
Of course we were pretty late getting to our destination. But we're here and so far - we're still alive.

Oh! And my parents adopted two little dogs that had been stranded from Hurricane Katrina and they are ADORABLE!!! I'm not a fan of little dogs, but these guys... they're Italian Greyhound and Terrier mix... and so sweet, too!!! Hang on, I'll see if I can get a pic off the net. They look like a cross between these two dogs:


Now that I look at them... they look more like the second dog... they're great.
I want a dog.
oh well.

Merry Christmas everyone!

airport musings

La la la la la ti da. Here I am. Sitting at pdx. waiting. waiting. waiting. It's almost 10:30. our flight was supposed to leave about 30 minutes ago. It will probably be another hour or two. Then who knows how long after we get to San Fransisco we'll have to wait to get to Colorado. Maybe we'll get stuck in San Fran for a bit. That would be fun.
I really don't have TOO much to blog about. I'm just sleepy. It's interesting to watch people here, though. That's what I love about the Portland airport.
Okay I'm done now, I guess.

Anyone have a funny story to tell me? I like stories!

Cheesy TV sparks new movement!

How's that for a cheesy headline? Ha! Anyway, the other night I am a little ashamed to admit that my perpetual channel surfing came to rest on the show "7th Heaven." It was a Christmas episode (GASP!).... and I watched it (shame). However, I even became a little emotional as every member of the Camden family spend Christmas day not with each other, but helping out at various charities, hospitals, etc. This was in leiu (sp) of gifts. Instead of spending money to buy each other presents that weren't necessary, they donated their money and their time to help people that weren't as fortunate on Christmas day. They passed out gifts at childrens' hospitals, among other things. Their church had even been setting aside money after collections and fundraisers in order to be able to financially assist one family for the ENTIRE upcoming year. So there were a lot of corny scenes in the course of the hour long episode, but it made me really think. I have been pretty upset this season because I am NOT in any place, financially, to be giving gifts. I have been really trying to come up with some meaningful gifts, but everything I want to get costs money. But what I DO have is time.. and especiallly on Christmas, when everyone takes time off ... there is a real need for people to help. So this christmas I am going to do what I can on Christmas to help someone else. And then try to follow that up by giving more of my time for the rest of the year... and the following year...
so... here's to using what we've got! (CHEERS!)

Ciao

God Bless us, every one!!

Okay, so after a rocky beginning of the season, CHRISTMAS is finally in my heart! To stay, even! See, 'round about October I was SO ready for Christmas... singing the songs, dreaming of decorating and cooking and baking... cold days and warm cider and cocoa. Then something happened. I am not sure what it was, but suddenly I just wasn't feeling it anymore. It's been creeping up lately, but this afternoon my lovely husband and I hopped on the MAX and headed downtown (making the necessary stop @ Borders' Seattle Best Cafe for some YUMMY carmel apple cider) to Pioneer Square to listen to 200+ TUBAS!!! It was SO amazing! It took quite a while to find a place to stand, even, it was so crowded. But we finally found a nice place and listened to the 88 year old conducter tell his funny stories and some tuba history between lovely Christmas caroles. It was nice, but it (the Christmas spirit, if you will) didn't really hit me until we were singing Hark! The Harold Angels Sing.
There we were: thousands of complete strangers from all walks of life singing "God and sinner reconciled... Christ is born in Bethlehem..." And it wasn't a big deal. Now, I know that a lot of those people really couldn't care less about the "religious" aspect of Christmas, but it was just SO encouraging to see so many different people smiling and singing and... I don't know. It just touched my heart.
I am not sure too many people read this - or even know I'm here, but in case you ARE reading and if you DO care, I'll be flying to CO soon and might not be on here for a while. So I pray that YOU will enjoy the magic of this season and not get caught up in the "stuff."
Merry Christmas!!!
And, in the timeless words of the profound little cripple: God bless us, every one!!

the ABC's of me...

A- Age of my first kiss:
15?

B- Band I am listening to right now:
no band - just football

C- Crush:
yum- grape crush is YUMMY ;o)

D- Dads name:
Richard... and Michael (no, they're not gay - one's step, one's bio)

E- Easiest person to talk to:
myself

F- Favorite ice cream:
Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia

G- Gummy bears or gummy worms:
Bears

H- Hometown:
Spanaway

I- Instruments:
B-flat and bass clarinet

J- Junior High:
Frontier Jr. High

K- Kids:
NO WAY (well... does my husband count?)

L-Love:
God

M- Moms name:
Beverly

N- Nickname:
Jess

O- One wish:
unconditional acceptance

P- Phobia(s):
grates/manholes/other holes in the ground

Q- Quote:
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn

R- Reason to smile:
forgiveness

S- Song I sang last:
I will do anything for love... but i won't do that

T- Time I woke up today:
9am -ish

U- Unknown fact about me:
i don't know... if it's unknown, it's that way for a reason

V- Vegetable:
mmm.. greens are SO yummy!

W- Worst habit:
paranoia that everyone hates me

X- Xrays:
the only non-dental xrays i can remember was my soph. year of college when they thought I had pneumonia (it was only bronchitis)

Y- Years since ive been to church:
i was there a few days ago!

Z- Zodiac Sign:
capricorn

Let's take a moment

I have to wonder why silences are always so awkward. Why is it so hard for a group of people to stop talking for a few moments without someone saying something just to end the silence? It has occured to me that we are a society viod of silence - nearly void of thought. Think about your day? If you're not working, going to school, taking care of your home, then what are you doing? Going to the movies, or shopping or out to eat or watching TV or listening to the radio. How much time do you spending THINKING? About anything, really? There are so many things to keep our mind busy that I notice I rarely take time to be silent with my thoughts. Am I the only one? Who knows? It's just a thought....

Welll... that's it, I guess.

Ciao!

HOORAY!!!!!!

I FINALLY found the BEST BOOK EVER!!!! Okay...l let me explain. When I was younger, despite being an only child, I was not very spoiled. The only place I got really really spoiled was at my Great Grandma P's house. As soon as I would get there, she would start shoving candy in my face... usually it began with black licorice chewing gum, then some random sweets until dinner (usually her yummy spaghetti) followed by ice cream. Then we'd do some gardening before the sun set. As soon as it got dark enough we would sit out on the front porch and eat dreamcicles (spelling?) while looking at the stars and talking about anything and everything. Then we'd play a game or something and then got ready for bed. And then we'd crawl into bed and drink a can of 7-up with a bendy straw while she read to me. I had two favorite books - one was about a little cereal character that threw a b-day party for a kid (i'm so sad i have NO idea what the name of the book is), and the other was Cookie Monster and the Cookie Tree. Well, I don't know where it went, but I wanted another copy of that book SO bad and I looked everywhere... for a long time. Finallly last night I found it! For $3.10 even!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! It's been seventeen years since Grandma P passed and I am just happier than happy to have that book again! Let me see if I can find a picture:
http://muppets.scarecroe.com/images/book_cookietree.jpg

So... what are your favorite childhood memories?

Ciao!

what is beautiful?

I was listening to the radio this morning and one of the hosts of a morning show said something about it being a beautiful Thursday morning when he was immediately interrupted and told that it was, in fact, NOT a beautiful day - "do you see any sun out there?" was her scold. My thought was this: what makes a day beautiful? Because to me, today - with all it's rain and clouds - has a calming, serene, cleansing quality about it. It makes me happy - and I think it's beautiful. So many people see this as gloom. I am the person who wakes up on a late June morning and wants to cry because instead of the cloudy rainy sky I see bright sunshine and know that I will spend the next three months fighting the relentless heat of the sun.
So, what makes a day beautiful? Well, you know the perfect little Sunday-school answer to that. But REALLY - what makes a day beautiful? Is it the weather? Perhaps a good friend? A bonus on your paycheck? A short work day? No homework? A relaxing day in the city? A refreshing adventure in nature?
For me, a nice crisp Autumn day...meeting a good friend for breakfast, then taking a trip downtown by myself. Roaming the expanse of Central library searching for some elusive knowledge, then relaxing with yummy coffee and maybe a bread bowl full of steaming deliciousness and of course a couple of good books. Watching people scurry by the window braced against the biting wind. Listening to the conversations at table nearby and imagining the lifes of others. Enjoying the art on the walls... Ah... just thinking about that makes me very.... content.
But what if I am never again able to experience that? Would there be any hope of a beautiful day then? Is there any way for me to make those horridly HOT summer days "beautiful?" Or for the normal person to make gloomy winter days beautiful? Perhaps it's not the weather we need to look to, but ourselves. Yeah, that's it. Am I going to make today a beautiful day? I think so.

Jessica Needs... Jessica Wants

So I did it - I googled my name w/needs and wants and here are some of the results:


Jessica needs to increase her income

Jessica needs to compete with the big boys

Jessica needs an adoptive family that is very structured

jessica needs to keep her mouth shut

Jessica Needs Cash

Jessica needs a better man (I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE TO DISAGREE)

Jessica wants to know

Jessica wants you to finish and go away

10 years in the life of.... ME!!!

I have been perusing some other blogs around here, and was intrigued by some posts regarding the last 10 years of life. It is so different for so many people - even people who are seemingly very similar. So... for your viewing (dis)pleasure, I present to you: 10 years in the life of ME!

Today: Portland, Oregon. Tiny apartment in the ghetto. Driving an old but dependable Toyota. Waiting every day for the call that will finally put me in the classroom (substitute teaching) and trying to support my dear husband through school, work and ministry. Oh, and starting my Arbonne Business

Last month: tentatively jumping (is that possible, you ask? why yes, it is!) into activity at Church... putting aside all (most) apprehension and shy tendencies to emerce myself into a more active state of faith. Driving the Toy. Living in the ghetto apartment

Last summer: Finishing student teaching, graduating college, moving out of the dorms and into my very own tiny ghetto apartment, planning a wedding, spending a lot of time alone. Then, getting married and setting up the apartment for two.

Last year: Drowning in school work, pre-student teaching and other Teacher Ed obligations. Spent the summer building fences with an all-male, all-mexican crew 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. Driving an old toyota. Living is someone's camper trailer and Cascade dorms, alternately.

5 years ago: Hmm, let's see ... that would be 2000. I was a Jr/Sr in high school. That was a busy year. Between advanced biology, english and lit classes, band activities (football games, contests, concerts, parades, band trips, etc.), working towards my black belt in tae kwon do, youth group activities (classes, lectures, youth rallies, community service), working 5 days a week (and taking a couple of college courses through work) and trying to maintain my first long-term relationship - I consumed TONS and TONS and OODLES and GOBS of caffiene! It was a busy year. And I loved it, for the most part. I was planning on going to a college that was far far away from home, though. That didn't work out too well. God had something else planned. Oh, yeah - and i was driving a lovely old Toyota.

10 years ago: 1995. HA! This was a strange year for me. Not surprising, as it WAS jr. high. I actually had a GREAT year... in that it was fun for me. I was kind of mean, though. That was my one really "teenage" year. For the most part I was a wonderful teenager. But that year I had my little group of friends and that was it. We weren't the really popular kids, but we were the only "cool" kids in all the honors classes. And we knew it. And flaunted it. Oddly enough, I probably learned more that year (even though I totally skipped out on SO much because I was too cool for school) than any other year. At home, though, I was finally beginning to almost appreciate my step-dad for the first time and was establishing some really great friendships with kids at church... I sure am thankful for those now!!!


El Fin`

I would like to thank you for humoring me here - that was fun. Makes me really appreciate my journey to where I am currently.

Check it out!!!

This is very funny to me!!!!

typingfrenzy.shorturl.com

wedding schmedding

I have returned from yet another wedding. Another one of my dear friends from "back home" has made the plunge. So why is it that I am so unhappy? She was such a beautiful bride - and it was very obvious that she adores him. She put on the wedding of my dreams (we've always had VERY similar interests, except when it came to boys) and it was a wonderfully joyous occasion. Though the cheese was a bit thick that day, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Yet I have this horrible fear in the pitt of my stomach. During the ceremony they were both pretty relaxed, which was good, but he... seemed so NOT genuine. She wrote the most beautiful vows to him and not only did he not have anything written down, but he seemed to get into character and told her how much he loved her and how he knew the first time he saw her that she was the one (a comment I personally hate) and then stopped, snapped out of character and said "yep, that's it, I'm done" and went on with the ceremony.
Now, don't get me wrong - I don't know the guy. At all. But from what I've seen I don't trust him. And as much as I love her (and I do a lot) I don't know that I can trust her choices when it comes to men. It's a little too late now though - and all I can do is PRAY PRAY PRAY that I am SO very wrong about all of this.
On the other hand, it was great to get to see a lot of people that I haven't seen in a really long time - including my parents and one of my very best friends, Nicole. Shortly after dinner, though, my mom pushed this baby onto me and left - then came back and proceeded to take picture after picture of me with the baby, worried that it was the closest she'd ever get to having a grandchild. OY! I understand that I am an only child and therefore her only hope, but I'm only 22!! So then the baby fell asleep and everyone went to go dance and I was left with sleeping baby and wary husband. For hours. It wasn't horrible, but it was HOT. Babies generate a LOT of body heat when they sleep.

Well, that's all I have for right now.
Pray for me.

Here goes nothing

Basically my goal here is to have a place to vent all of my psycho babble. So, if you're into that kinda thing, come on back every now and again. If not, well, better luck next time (just playin)!
Anyway, my current state of mind is one of shock. I really am getting older. And so are all my friends. It's just so strange to see the people I always saw as little sister/brothers going to college, getting married, and completely maturing (even a few I had once thought were hopeless!) It's not really that big of a deal - it's just shocking to me... almost like waking up one day to find that I've been asleep for 15 years and suddenly nothing is the same anymore.
Part of life, I suppose. I just wasn't ready for it.